#Parisian Engagement

[serenagaia]

[transmutationisms]

that post about the seine giving everyone cholera in 1831 makes my eye twitch because it wasn't that parisians didn't know cholera existed, it was that they had a lucky break from major outbreaks of it until 1832 so if you look at the primary literature from right before then it's full of claims like the seine is clean because an 'enlightened' city needn't worry about disease. like however stupid you may think people in the past were it's more a function of their cultural chauvinism & climatic racism driving claims about the salubrity of parisian river water. also the dates matter because the 1832 outbreak was exacerbated by the upheaval of the 1830 revolution, and the pattern of revolution -> cholera epidemic repeated again after the 1848 revolution. and that pattern, particularly with 1832, really helped cement the notion in french public health that political unrest = literal disease, and became rhetorical fodder for the identity-formation that the rising bourgeoisie were engaging in wrt the linking of poverty, filth, and radical politics.

⬆️ stuff i would say if i were deeply unchill and unable to scroll past a joke post on a tuesday

[alexturntable]

chris_bloodfilms Met my hero on a train. This story is long so scroll if you cba reading. It’s 2005, a band explodes on MySpace. They’re dressed like you and their lyrics are a mirror to your life. Bleeding heck, who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys? After 19 years on repeat it’s now 2024. Myself and @/conor_bloodfilms are travelling back from Paris. We arrive at Gare Du Nord and Duffy stops in his tracks. He whispers to me “I think that’s Alex Turner.” “F**k off!” I immediately reply. I gaze over at a guy wearing a leather jacket with long brown hair, his face adorned with aviators. We should probably stop staring as it’s getting weird, sexually and aggressively weird. Turns out it is bloody Alex Turner, the man who’s provided the soundtrack to my life! He strolls past and disappears into the Parisian platform crowd. A missed opportunity. We board our train back to London. We look to our left and there’s Alex. Sitting in his seat accompanied by a notepad. He’s probably writing the next Arctic Monkeys hit “Two gawping pricks on a train”. We really need to stop staring. I tell Duffers I’m going in, he stops me. Reminds me that I’m a fully functioning adult and not to create a scene. Christ, he’s right! I feel like I’m 15 years old again, someone get me a Strongbow and whack Dancing Shoes on, kin hell lad! Eventually myself and Con engage, it’s a surreal experience. Alex is polite and returns conversation in a soft friendly manner. The whole situation is just bloody lovely. I awkwardly ask if I can take his portrait, fully aware that it could result in an awkward exchange and destroy this wonderful moment. He smiles and obliges, he’s effortlessly cool, asks for direction and I take a few snaps. We disembark the train, I felt quite emotional and that’s embarrassing to admit. Maybe it was the jet lag, the caffeine and croissant overload? Or maybe it was just the rekindling of my youth. This all might sound trivial, however, for me these portraits are deeply personal serving a reminder that life is a series of fortunate events and when fully appreciated can conjure up some pretty awesome memories.

[neiptune]

surreal, but nice

cw: 7k wc, female reader, strangers to lovers, osamu doesn't exactly know how to handle one of the most famous music artists in japan suddenly popping in onigiri miya, inspired by notting hill, my sappy entry for the romcom collab hosted by @bloompompom! thank you @yellow-sword-lily, this fic is also a little yours :)

Miya Osamu is a creature of habit.

He gets up fairly early, showers, never leaves the small apartment without fixing himself a nutritious breakfast, more or less knows and is therefore prepared to what to expect from each particular day.

Downstairs there’s his beloved shop, a dormant creature he gently stirs from sleep each morning. When he doesn’t have to head to the market to select and order the freshest products, Osamu starts the day by contacting all his suppliers and arranging the deliveries. He then checks the inventory, reviews reservations, welcomes the only other chef to discuss any special preparations or new experiments. It’s not unusual for him to check his emails, monitor the website and official social media of the shop, the one thing he actually hates doing because he knows damn well one negative comment will ruin his day, especially since there’s nothing he can do to rectify mistakes made days, sometimes weeks before.

He has a chef, one dishwasher, three servers, two food delivery drivers and that’s about it. Osamu Miya is the owner, manager, host, executive chef, server and cashier of onigiri Miya. He juggles management skills, culinary talent and business acumen just perfectly. He’s prepared and knows exactly what each day has in store for him.

Until you happen.

Osamu has been cooking for almost three hours by the time the shop officially opens at 11AM. It’s not unusual for new faces to come in from time to time, despite his clientele being more or less established, but it is rare to hear the little door chime ring so soon. Except if his dumb brother happens to be in town.

But you’re not his dumb brother. You’re a new and yet strangely familiar face, even hidden behind thick sunglasses and a beret that one could deem more appropriate to a parisian getaway rather than a Kansai one.

“Morning” you offer a little bow, hesitant by the door “you’re open, right?”

“Uh, sure” he smiles, still a little uncertain after a moment of astonishment “I don’t often have clients for breakfast. What can I get ya?”

“I’ve been told this is the best onigiri shop in town. I’ll let you decide”

You seem to consider your options for a moment, then decide to sit at the closest empty table. Osamu would usually provide more than a nod: he’d make conversation, ask questions. Forming bonds with whoever visits his shop and trusts his food is his favorite part of the day, as well as a great activity to engage in while his hands are busy putting the rice into molds.

“Close that mouth” is the only thing he utters under his breath, glancing at the server who set your table “yer catching flies”

“But it’s her!” Hiro squeaks as silently as humanly possible “I’m gonna ask for an autograph”

“You will do no such thing”

“We could hang it in the shop!”

“Go help in the kitchen, Minato called in sick today. I’ll handle this”

Hiro disappears behind closed doors but only after batting his freakishly long lashes to his boss, a heartbreaking disappointed look on his face.

Osamu takes a deep breath and squeezes the molds together, an action executed as gently as possible to keep the fluffy texture that makes his onigiri the best in town.

He knows you, of course he knows you. Not only your face was on any available surface for the entirety of the previous summer (posters, billboards, magazine covers to advertise your first ever concert in the Koshien stadium), he’s also pretty sure in high school Atsumu had perpetually ruined the walls of their shared room with some crappy adhesive squares used to hang your poster.

Osamu is not really a dedicated listener, he knows a couple of your most famous songs and that your success is damn near planetary. You have a house in Tokyo but spend most of the year in America, California if he recalls correctly, and you tour across Europe as well. Yet, it’s been easy to pick what to serve you. The gourmet options such as salmon roe or roast beef are off the table: they don’t make new clients feel special. What new clients need is a taste of authenticity, something that reminds them of home, and don’t you look just like the kind of person who could use some of that?

Osamu decides on pickled plum, tuna mayo and bonito flakes. One serving usually consists of three onigiri but he can’t resist adding an extra treat for you, a tenmusu onigiri. He’s recently perfected the recipe with an egg-free tempura batter that is still thick enough to absorb his special sauce.

He hopes it’s not creepy that he lingers by your table after he brings your meal: celebrity or not, you’re a new client. And Osamu can’t resist observing the wander taking over customers who are unfamiliar with his kitchen, as soon as they take the first bite. He hopes you are no exception.

“If this is an onigiri” you lock eyes with him and smile, glorious, radiant “what the hell have I been eating until now?”

“Probably not the best in town” he grins, proud, a slight blush already coating his cheeks. Damn it, he’s tempted to turn the baseball cap once more, let the brim shield his awkwardness. But that would be totally lame.

“Is it a family business?”

“No. It’s just… mine”

You hum, busy chewing on another bite. Then you swallow and ask another question, invite him to sit eventually, then apologize because he’s probably busy (he is) and has things to do (he does) but this is never going to happen again for Osamu, because he’s not Atsumu. And so he sits and makes conversation like a normal human being that definitely isn’t obsessively dwelling on how beautiful you are, how different your voice sounds when you’re not singing, how much he’d hate for a client to come in and pop that bubble. Which is exactly what happens and he doesn’t like it one bit how you interrupt your chuckle, lower your head, hunch your shoulders in an attempt to hide. He doesn’t like that he has to excuse himself, call Hiro back form the kitchen, make conversation with Suzuki-san, listen while he describes all his latest hospital visits in horrifying detail.

You look at him from time to time, the quiet shop owner suddenly turned chatty sparks your curiosity. He’s skilled with his hands and genuinely interested in what the person who must be an habitué has to say. He’s attractive, too. Especially as he tries to disguise the occasional glances directed your way or the disappointment that flashes in his eyes when you get up and start collecting your things.

“Can I get the check, please?” you approach the counter, pretend not to notice his hesitation. Osamu decides against indulging in the “it’s on the house” cliche, opts for treating you as any other client. With the exception of a small discount you won’t even notice.

“That was the best breakfast I had in a while” you collect the receipt and put in your pocket.

“You should come back, then. To have another” Osamu cringes internally as soon as the words leave his mouth and Suzuki-san’s chuckle makes him want to dig a hole to disappear into. But you smile, despite probably having heard the corny line a million other times, and tell him that you just might.

It would’ve been perfect: a beautiful ending to a glorious encounter. It could’ve been. If only you didn’t turn around so abruptly, a small shriek echoing across the shop as you came face to face with Mai, the sudden sound and panic causing her to jump and spill the fresh iced tea from the jug in her hand all over your painfully clean, crisp, starched, white button down.

You both freeze, your mouth open in a silent scream, an horrified look in Mai’s eyes that would’ve been comical on literally any other occasion. Osamu wishes he would’ve went with the “it’s on the house” cliche.

“Oh my god! Oh god! It’s you! I mean, I’m sorry!” Mai’s voice comes out an octave too high “my god, I’m so sorry!”

“Well, this is great” you frantically grab a handful of napkins from the counter and attempt to dab the mess on your shirt “I have a meeting in half an hour!”

“Please, take my uniform! I will pay for the dry cleaning!”

“Actually” Osamu chimes in as politely as possible, trying his best not to let his anxiety get the best of him “don’t take this the wrong way but, uh, I live upstairs. You can get cleaned up and…”

“You’re kidding, right?” your astonished look is almost glacial. It makes him falter just slightly.

“Or ya can leave with a giant orange stain on yer wet, probably uncomfortably cold shirt?”

“Miya-san!” Mai’s hiss and your shocked expression make him think that sarcasm probably wasn’t a good idea. Osamu sighs.

“Listen, I’m really sorry. These are the keys, you can go on your own, I promise the bathroom’s clean”

You eye him for a few seconds more, then decide against grabbing the keys from his hand.

“I’m gonna need a change of clothes”

Osamu blinks a couple times, dumbfounded. His clothes? You’re asking to wear… his clothes?

“Sure! Yeah, sure. Come on” now his voice sounds uncharacteristically squeaky and he clears his throat as you follow him up the stairs, Suzuki-san’s good grief still ringing in his ears.

Thank god he cleaned the entire apartment just the day before. As much as he likes to brag about being the tidy twin, deep down he knows he’s just as messy as Atsumu.

Osamu tries hard not to look at you, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed while he rummages in his drawers in search of something that could fit you. He shortly wonders if it’d be a good idea to offer a complementary bento box to make up for the disaster Mai caused.

“I’m genuinely sorry” he starts rambling because the silence is unbearable and some of Atsumu’s genes really do take over sometimes “the worst incident we ever had at the shop was my brother almost choking on his dinner. I had to perform the heimlich maneuver, it wasn’t pretty” god, where the hell are this clean, not embarrassing shirts?

“Guess this one will go down in history” your voice is less sharp now, which relieves him.

“Oh, no. I will never tell anyone about this, ever. Mai and Suzuki-san will have to sign an nda. A proper, legally binding one”

The laugh you offer sounds weirdly intimate in the small space of his bedroom, it makes the tips of his ears hot. Finally, he’s able to dig out a decent, basic shirt you accept by thanking him softly. When you lock yourself in the bathroom, Osamu rushes to the kitchen to tidy up the mess he’s left behind after that morning’s breakfast. No time to concentrate on how you’re actually, genuinely in his home, cleaning yourself in the same bathroom he showered in, without a shirt on.

No one’s ever going to believe him. Hell, he may not believe it himself by the end of the day.

“Hey” he jumps at your voice, sudden and closer than expected. You look good in his basic shirt, it suits you somehow. Did you shove your own in one of the bags you left by the door?

“Hey” Osamu says back and cringes for the millionth time “are ya hungry?”

You smile when he shuts his eyes for a second, right after the silly question leaves his mouth.

“Not hungry”

“Right. Of course. Thirsty? I have really good tea, from Shizuoka. And orange juice” he pauses for a second, then adds “or water”

Your smile grows, almost melts into a giggle. “Not thirsty either”

“Okay” he clears his throat “how about dessert? I made some mitarashi dango just yesterday”

“I have a meeting to attend”

“Oh. Sure, yeah, that makes sense” he wants to bash his head against the wall “I’ll walk you out. To downstairs” thank fuck ‘Tsumu isn’t there, he’d never let him live this down. Jesus.

You precede him to the door, gather your bags, then softly thank him for the shirt.

“Nice meeting you, Osamu” he nearly explodes when you say his name, no honorifics whatsoever. How do you even know? He hasn’t carried a name tag on his shirt for years.

“It was nice to meet you too” there’s no time to dwell on dumb, pointless questions “surreal, but nice”

He thinks if your smile could conjure waves, he’d gladly give up all the oxygen in his lungs and drown in them. Has someone ever looked as beautiful while smiling at him? He doesn’t think so. He can’t think. Not when you’re leaning closer, not when your arms are suddenly wrapped around his neck, not when you’re pressing your lips to his. Holy shit. You’re pressing your lips to his. And he’s forgotten how to breathe, let alone kiss. Osamu just freezes, like a marble statue, like a teenager who’s never touched a woman before. Right as he’s about to swallow the shock and fucking move, you’re already pulling away, eyes not leaving his despite the slight self-consciousness swarming in those irises.

And then you disappear, just like the dream he believed you were, all that’s left is an empty spot by the door and his heart slamming against a pathetically ill-equipped ribcage.

La Suite is one of the most luxurious hotels in the prefecture and Osamu feels out of place with the 30 onigiri order he’s carrying past a french restaurant and a traditional japanese one, all soft carpeting, dim lights and wide windows. So different from his.

He timidly explains that he’s there to deliver an order to a certain Bennet-san, who for some reason insisted he’d be the one bringing it to her hotel. They look at him funny but let him through and give the coordinates: top floor, superior double room. A woman meets him the second he steps out of the elevator and sternly asks him to follow her, a silly part of him wonders if he’s about to get murdered in one of the top 25 hotels in Japan. But then she knocks on a door right before swinging it open and he doesn’t even get to explain that he’s not supposed to get inside, she can take the bloody bag and he’ll be on his merry way, but once again Osamu fails to determine what the day holds in store for him.

Once more, it’s you. A less preppy version, one that seems so small in such a gigantic room, the sea breeze blowing from the terrace gracefully lifting up the hem of a tennis skirt you immediately fight to keep down as you promptly get up from the couch.

“Hi” he says, so dumbfounded he barely notices the door closing behind him.

“Miya-san” you bow, keep your eyes down, no sign of a smile he could by now deem familiar “I’m sorry for the trouble, I know the hotel is pretty far from the restaurant and you must be busy. This will only take a second”

Osamu’s brows furrow, confusion evident in the way he cocks his head. You don’t catch it, because your eyes are glued to the floor. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I don’t know what came over me, I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me”

His eyes soften as part of the tension leaves his shoulders. Truth is, Osamu is glad you’re apologizing: despite how beautiful and dreamy you may be, life is not quite a movie and he doesn’t exactly appreciate being blindsided by a stranger. He doesn’t really understand what made you think kissing him would be a good idea (was his awkardness interpreted the wrong way? Did his stare linger on your smile a second too long?) but he’s certain you meant no harm. A shitty person certainly wouldn’t take time out of her day to leave an autograph on a napkin, especially right after half a jug of iced tea was spilled on her shirt just minutes before. To Hiro, with love.

After a moment, he clears his throat. “Can ya look at me?”

You meet his gaze hesitantly, mouth a thin line of harsh disapproval directed at yourself. For a second, you remind him of someone and he almost breaks into a smile.

“Thank you for apologizing. We’re good”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah!” he chuckles “you didn’t have to place such a big order”

You blink twice, then start nervously fiddling with your fingers “ah, actually I didn’t do it to… well, those onigiris are just really good. I wanted to take some extra ones with me”

“You’re leaving?” he doesn’t mean to sound disappointed, especially not while you’re so intentionally keeping your distance.

“Kinda. My record label rented a house in the countryside, I’ll spend most of the summer locked in, trying to finish my new album. I couldn’t do it in America, I missed being home but didn’t want to endure Tokyo’s chaos so I ended up picking Hyogo. Sorry, you didn’t ask to know all that” you chuckle tensely “we leave tomorrow and I didn’t want to go without apologizing first. That’s all. You may go now”

Osamu hums. “I may go? As in I’m excused?” he laughs when your painfully stoic expression melts into sheer horror.

“No! Of course not, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“You take yourself too seriously” he grins “I’m just messin’ with ya”

“That’s not very nice of you”

“Would you compare it to kissing a stranger out of the blue?”

“Oh god” you hide your overheated face in your hands “you said we’re good!”

“And we are” Osamu steps closer to gently place the bags still in his hands on the marble topped pedestal coffee table. It’s just fun to tease you, one of the many irritating habits he shares with his brother.

His brother. Osamu looks up, a risky desire taking shape in his head and threatening to spill over the tip of his tongue.

“I’m really sorry, Miya-san” you repeat and he doesn’t love that you’re now calling him that “uh, this is your shirt. Cleaned and ironed. Thank you for…”

“Whatcha doing tonight?”

You freeze, paper bag still in hand. “Uhm, nothing interesting”

“No packing?”

“My manager does that for me”

He chuckles. “Right. Chances you’d want to spend your last night in the city at an even less interesting birthday party?”

Osamu waits patiently while you weigh your options, recognizes the confusion in your hesitant stare but doesn’t quite understand why there’s a weary vibration to your voce when you accept, the slight disappointment that flashes across your features.

It’s only fair, you think as he parts from the room with a smile and the command to secure those onigiris in a fridge. If showing you off to his friends like some valuable conquest is the way he wants to even the score, you’re in no position to deny him. You’re the one at fault and you’ve been given a chance to make up for it by wearing the facade you wear best.

Then why does it feel so disheartening, this time?

When Shinsuke opens the door, he’s more surprised by your presence than the carefully wrapped gift in your hands. Not that he doubted Osamu: why send a message to the group chat telling everyone that a) he was bringing someone and b) they should’ve absolutely not behaved any differently than usual if not better (in bold), if he wasn’t actually going to show up with a plus one?

Still, a small part of him did wonder if Atsumu’s and Rintaro’s relentless teasing finally got the best of him. Shinsuke doesn’t think that his friend works too much or that he should start “looking around” before “his hair starts greying again only this once naturally”. He remembers Osamu rolling his eyes at his brother when he implied that at this rate he’s gonna have to tie the knot with the restaurant, only to then space out for most of the evening as everyone else found new topics to migrate toward.

In short, Shinsuke wondered if Osamu was going to come up with a last minute excuse to justify the empty spot next to him at the table. But it seems that spot is going to be taken after all, by you nonetheless.

“Nice to meet you, Kita-san” you smile after Osamu introduces you by your name and nothing else, not a wink, not even a subtle hint or a reasonable explanation “happy birthday”

Shinsuke accepts the gift with a polite thank you and he’s almost made sure you could preserve a nice, normal memory of stepping foot into his house for the first time, of course failing to consider the Hinata factor.

“Thank god, Osamu, I’m so hungry- holy shit! Is her your gift? I only brought a cap that says farm hair don’t care!” there’s a strange but seemingly friendly redhead looking at you with eyes so wide you fear they might roll out of their sockets.

“Shoyo, any chance you checked the chat today?” Osamu smiles at him widely but Kita recognizes the tension at the corners.

“What? Of course not, I was busy picking a cute gift” Hinata smiles too but his excitement is genuine “hello, nice to meet you! Please come in, you can help us set the table!”

You chuckle and meet Osamu’s horrified eyes for a second, his posture relaxes as your gentle reassurance puts him at ease. I’ll be in the other room, then. Leave it to Hinata to make a gigantic deal out of a special guest only to treat her as one of his buddies ten seconds later. You seemed comfortable, though, as one always feels whenever Shoyo happens to be around.

“Who is she?” Shinsuke doesn’t mean for his tone to be so conspiratorial but he keeps it low, just in case you might still hear them.

“A friend. Kinda. Ya wouldn’t believe me” Osamu takes his jacket off and hangs it by the door, then picks up the plethora of bags from the floor and makes his way into his friend’s kitchen.

“No, I mean… who is she? Why does Shoyo know her?” Shinsuke follows suit, intent on helping him distribute all the food he’s brought in the different plates he has prepared. Osamu shakes his initial surprise off with a chuckle.

“Only one of the most famous pop music artists in Japan”

Kita stills his movements for a second, then absorbs the new information with a simple nod. “Right. And you met her at the shop”

“How d’ya know?”

“Where else would you be meeting a pop music artist?”

“Don’t make it sound so obvious” Osamu pulls a face and Shinsuke’s eyes twinkle with mischief.

“Well, she’s here. With you. Is it like… a date?”

“No” the peremptory answer comes embarrassingly fast “it’s her last night in the city, she’s here because she didn’t have anything better planned”

“But you invited her”

“Yes”

“Because you like her”

“I don’t-” Osamu gestures vaguely with his hands “it’s not like that. ‘Tsumu used to have a poster of her face in our room, for fuck’s sake”

Kita hums. “So what you actually mean is it can’t be like that”

“I don’t see the difference”

“I do”

“Well-” a loud commotion Osamu has been trained for over two decades to instantly recognize as his brother’s voice, makes the words die in his throat. By the time him and Shinsuke return to the colorfully decorated living room (courtesy of an overly enthusiastic Hinata and one resigned Rintaro), Atsumu is already talking your ear off and seemingly invading your personal space multiple times as he follows you around the table you’re setting with Suna like a golden retriever on a sugar overload.

“Shoyo, you were supposed to keep her safe” Osamu glares at his brother and takes a mental note to scold Aran too, later. For snickering.

Hinata doesn’t get the chance to defend himself because of course Atsumu’s the only one who could outshine that intense excitement with his own.

“Samu! What the hell? If this is yer gift to Shin, what are ya plannin’ to get me exactly?”

“Can everyone stop assuming she’s here as a thing and not as a person?” it comes out harsher than intended and Osamu feels his face grow hot when all those present simply stare at him. When you stare at him.

Suna clears his throat.

“Cut him some slack, he came out of the bathroom and we could barely convince him she’s not a hallucination” you chuckle at that, which makes the ever stoic Rintaro look away with a faint blush blossoming on his pale cheeks.

“Wait” Atsumu looks at you, then at his brother and his brows become progressively furrowed “she’s here with you? As in, you invited her? And she said yes?”

Osamu wonders why he thought a simple admonishment in the group chat would be enough. He has half an idea of shoving an onigiri right into his brother’s loud mouth and not perform any maneuver whatsoever when the rice obstructs his airways.

“Actually, I wanted to come” you chime in so gently it takes a few moments for him to register the words “I’m leaving tomorrow and when Miya-san mentioned it was one of his friends’ birthday, I shamelessly asked if I could tag along. Hope I’m not a bother”

Kita is looking at you the same way Osamu is, puzzled. Hinata almost chokes on his coke and starts coughing profusely, so much that Aran has to lend him a napkin.

“A bother? No, of course not!” his nose might be on fire but by god, he physically cannot let you believe such nonsense for a second too long.

Atsumu’s mouth hangs wide open, brows still knit that make his expression overall hilarious “you make her call you Miya-san? Yikes, bro” he turns to you and makes a scene of slamming a hand on his chest “please, feel free to call me ‘Tsumu. I think we’re intimate enough by now”

“Given that we took five selfies and you made me sign my name on your abs, I also think we’re intimate enough” your grin seems genuine, which only startles Osamu more.

“Ya made her do what?” oh, there are probably not enough words in the japanese vocabulary for the way he’ll have to apologize at the end of the night.

“It’s fine, I didn’t mind” you shrug “but if I could ask everyone a small favor…”

“Sure, anything!” Atsumu’s interruption only makes your smile grow wider “I’d really like to celebrate Kita-san’s birthday like you’d normally do. Please don’t make a big deal out of me, it’s his night after all”

“She’s asking not to be treated like a circus act” Aran whispers to Hinata, who blinks his big brown eyes in quiet understanding.

“Done!” Atsumu’s fist hits his chest right where the heart is as he solemnly declares “you’re one of the boys now, consider yourself a pal”

“Thanks, ‘Tsumu” he tries to keep his composure but nearly implodes as you direct your attention to Shoyo “no, Hinata-san, this doesn’t mean we won’t be taking that picture I promised. Don’t worry” your wink is the prettiest, most wonderful thing he’s ever witnessed and thank fuck he’s done drinking that coke because his airways suddenly feel clogged.

Kita thinks this is already the most entertaining birthday he’s ever celebrated.

And celebrate his birthday you all do. Normally, as per your request. You sit between Rintaro and Osamu at dinner and masterfully divert the attention from yourself whenever the questions start piling up. The uno reverse technique works well: your curiosity feels flattering and everyone is happy to satisfy it. The questions you direct are extremely specific, your laugh echoes alongside everyone else’s and Osamu can’t help but think that, in some odd way, you fit in seamlessly. 

Keeping his eyes off of you isn’t but a strenuous fight with himself, it’d be lovely if looking would be the only activity he’d be allowed to engage in. It’s not hard to guess why hordes of fans and admirers are so enamoured: you’re such a natural. Polite, poised, funny, charismatic. Making you laugh feels like a privilege, having your brows raise in interest makes the story one’s recounting instantly fascinating. And yet you’re not doing any of that on purpose, he can tell. The one thing you’re being intentionally careful about is avoiding his gaze and making sure your arm doesn’t accidentally brush against his.

Osamu wants to ask himself why but also refuses to indulge in childish fantasies. What, he thought you liked him? Part of him believed you’d accepted to come to some stranger’s birthday party purely to spend an evening with him. Bullshit. Everyone in the world knows who you are and he simply owns an onigiri shop in Hyogo, one you happened to visit by sheer chance. He’s the guy you are so embarrassed to be seen with, you had to come up with a lie to justify your presence at the very same table that seems to adore you.

But when he jokingly throws a grain of rice at Aran, you hide your chuckle behind your hand. If he speaks, you always turn to look. Osamu doesn’t remember a social gathering where he tried to come up with just as many things to say, desperately conjuring genes that always weigh heavier in Atsumu. Unfortunately, the one person he could always count on, his dear friend and trusty supplier, decides his birthday night is the perfect occasion to stab him in the back.

“I’m sorry, I just need to ask” Kita refills your glass with fresh wine from across the table before retracting to his seat once more “your encounter with Osamu, how did it happen exactly?”

“Yeah, was his onigiri so good you wanted to-”

“Do not finish that sentence, Shoyo” Aran clears his throat as Suna, next to you, has a hard time swallowing his stir fry noodles.

“She heard my shop was the best in town, which it is, came to try it. That’s the story” Osamu wishes he could disappear into his kitchen as he often does when things at the restaurant get uncomfortable.

“I don’t buy it” Shinsuke shrugs “is that really the whole story?”

Kita’s knowing stare really hasn’t changed since high school and it seems you’re affected by it just as much as every other human. His eyes bore right into yours, trained to detect hesitation or even the hint of a lie, giving you no escape. Goddamn it, he’s still the team captain, there’s no running from him.

“Well” you gently swirl the glass in your hand, suddenly very much focused on the crimson liquid swooshing inside “I also kissed him”

This time someone does actually choke and, of course, it’s Atsumu. Right as Rintaro utters an ever quiet holy shit, he explodes in a coughing fit and Aran promptly strikes between his shoulder blades with the heel of his hand, perhaps with more force than needed. Thankfully, Atsumu manages to swallow his bite and, despite the tears threatening to run down his cheeks in all their shimmering glory, still conjures the energy needed to point an intimidating finger at his brother “ya bastard!”

“That’s a joke, right?” Hinata’s eyes have once again grown three sizes.

Kita doesn’t ask, the answer is written all over Osamu’s crimson red face. He was right, no one would’ve believed him.

“No, I really did” you take a sip from your glass and now everyone is looking at you like you’re some kind of alien. Except for Atsumu, who’s still glaring daggers at his brother.

“So this is… a date for you two?” Suna’s just as shocked as everyone else but seems to be the only person currently able to string words together.

“Oh, no” you brush the question off with a gracious wave of the hand “I just did it to thank him”

This time the silence stretches for a moment too long. Atsumu seems on the verge of passing out.

“You kissed him to thank him?” Kita cocks his head.

“Yeah. I mean, he was very kind. Have you never kissed someone to thank them?”

“Uh… no. I don’t think so”

“Really?”

“Do you…” Aran hopes to the gods that the words don’t come out the wrong way “do that often?”

“Aran” as much as Osamu wishes the earth could swallow him whole, he doesn’t want you to think his friends may be implying something they’re really not.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“It’s okay” you let our a nervous chuckle and because Osamu is sitting so close, he hears the shaky breath too “I know it was wrong. I tend to forget that’s not what normal people are used to. I apologized and now we’re good, right, Miya-san?” your eyes meet his and he feels his heart drop right into his stomach.

“Why are you used to that?” he asks instead of replying to your question and you just. Freeze.

“Yeah…” Hinata quietly chimes in “that doesn’t sound like something anyone should be used to”

For the first time, you don’t know how to respond. Osamu senses your panic, can read it in your eyes, but is too baffled to think of something smart or chivalrous to say.

“Holy shit, ya know what that means?” Atsumu slams both his hands on the table and both you and everyone else jump “it means she thinks I’m hot! In another life, I’d have a chance! Sorry, Shin, I know it’s yer birthday but I think this is the best night of my life!”

A quiet, astonished moment follows, then the table erupts in genuine laughter. You’re giggling so much you have to hold your stomach, Kita is shaking his head in resignation, Suna rolls his eyes with affection. Osamu settles for a smile as he relaxes against his chair once more. His brother may be loud and annoyingly inopportune, but his quiet support never once faltered throughout the years. One doesn’t need to be an old acquaintance to be taken under Miya Atsumu’s wing: if he senses as much as the hint of unease, his charismatic idiocy is summoned right away at the service of whoever may need it. Yet his loyalty remains unshakeable: Osamu knows that, in his stupid head, you’re already forbidden territory.

His mind is dizzy with confusion he doesn’t know how to properly address. As Kita blows out the candles on the cake he’s made, Osamu feels a wave of affection inundate his heart. He remembers that are nights like this that are worth being present, even if he has to get up at dawn or his sink is full of dirty dishes and he’s exhausted. Life only ever feels right when he’s with his friends or his family. It’s a routine he’s trained hard to get used to: work, work, work, carve out small moments to spend with those who come and go. It’s important for him to be there, when they come.

Osamu almost misses it, too focused on cleaning an extra plate or two in the kitchen, to make sure the birthday boy can get to relax once they leave. And then you call for him, a small crack in that poised facade of yours when his name almost slips out. You rush into the kitchen and urge him to hurry up, they’re already singing happy birthday to Kita-san. Come on, you’re missing it!

You probably wanted to go for his sleeve and found his hand instead, dragged him out of the room so quickly Osamu barely had the time to put the towel down. For some reason, once in the living room you don’t let go right away and neither does he. You only do so to clap with everyone else and even then it’s not entirely possible to establish who lets go first. Regardless, Osamu gives your hand a light squeeze and hopes you notice, despite there being no signs to indicate that.

You’re the first two people to excuse themselves: he refuses to let you go back to your hotel on your own, doesn’t give two shits that you have a driver or could well afford a cab because it’s a beautiful evening and Osamu is itching to have as little as ten minutes alone with you. He watches as you formally offer a hand to Suna and he grins as he shakes it, gently taking it in between his in a respectful attempt at suggesting that there’s no need to be so ceremonious.

You exchange quick hugs with everyone else, take the picture promised to Hinata, chuckle lightly when Atsumu timidly asks for a kiss on the cheek just because “it’s the american way of saying goodbye!” and of course you accomodate the request. Osamu is almost willing to bet you genuinely had fun but he also can’t seem to shake off the odd feeling suggesting you’ve somehow taken it upon yourself to just… appease everyone for the entire evening. Like some kind of duty. He doesn’t want you to think back to this evening like a task that had to be carried out.

“Oh my god, I cannot fucking believe it!” Atsumu’s shriek echoes loud and clear in the empty street  as soon as Kita shuts the door and you meet Osamu’s exasperated glare.

“I’m genuinely not sure what I should start apologizing for” he runs a hand through his brown hair and his stress makes you smile as you fall into a comfortable walking pace.

“I should start by thanking you for inviting me. Can’t remember the last time I had such a normal night”

“My friends are many things but I don’t know if they really fall into the normal category”

You laugh at that. “I think they’re really nice. It was fun. I didn’t know there were two of you”

Osamu grimaces, lightly shaking his head “good call, he’s the thing I should start apologizing for”

“I liked Atsumu” of course you did, don’t they all? “you’re lucky to have such good friends and a brother. Is it true what they say about weird connections us twinless mortals wouldn’t get?”

He sighs. As much as Osamu hates stereotypes and all the disadvantages that come with not being able to be his own person, the curse of always being considered nothing but part of a set, he knows the bond with Atsumu is just as rare and irreplaceable as people make it out to be.

“Well, I can pretty much always read his mind. But it’s not a twin thing, s’just an Atsumu thing” he shrugs “most transparent, honest person on earth”

“You’re both very kind” your observation strikes him. It hits the nail on the head: he does his best but it’s unusual for someone to notice ‘Tsumu’s selflessness right away.

“Could say the same about ya” he’s eager to direct the topic to the thing he’s really interested in, the one person who refused every bit of attention directed her way throughout the night “that tea collection must’ve costed a fortune. Shinsuke loves tea, yer manager picked well”

You hum, gaze focused on your feet. “Actually, I picked it”

Another thing Osamu has in common with his brother, the ability to royally fuck up in such a short amount of time.

“Oh, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay, happens all the time”

“What happens?”

“People assuming things” you’re not mad, there’s just a sad vibration to your voice. If he could punch himself in the face, he would.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” Osamu hates the smile you toss at him. He hates it so much he stops in the middle of the sidewalk and watches you turn around, confusion flashing in your disenchanted eyes.

“There’s a pretty cool park ‘round the corner. How about a detour? If you’re not too tired”

You hum in agreement, ask him to lead the way. Careful, Osamu, you’d like to say. This same polite regard is what got me in trouble the first time.

The park, which is more of a garden really, is a slice of eden in the jungle that any city inevitably ends up feeling like. Lowlands, an abundance of irregular but colorful flowerbeds that seem to glow in the dark, the warm air of the evening saturated with the sweet scent of lime trees, a gravel path you both follow all the way to a small, wooden playground. It’s only natural to gravitate toward the swings, relish in the comfort of the stillness the evening offers. It always feels like the earth rotates slower, pace decelerating to give you more time to enjoy the things it’s hard to appreciate during your hectic days.

Osamu approaches the swing like an old friend, takes hold of the chains with both hands. He lightly pushes off the ground with his feet while pulling back, giving you a perfect view of his perfect profile.

“I don’t want to assume” he says quietly “so is it okay if I ask?”

“Yeah” you rest your head on the chain you’re holding, still looking at him who won’t look at you.

“Why did you tell ‘Tsumu you asked me to come tonight?” the actual question dies in his throat. Were you that embarrassed of being there with me?

“You seemed pretty self-conscious. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable” and I guess that way, you got to seem cooler.

Osamu almost chokes on his own spit from how surprised he is by your answer. What the fuck.

“I wasn’t-” not for the reason you seem to believe “I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable!”

You smile, patiently waiting for the moment where he’ll finally turn to meet your gaze instead of persistently staring at his feet. “I don’t think I ever felt that comfortable in a room filled with men”

“That shouldn’t be an exceptional occurrence”

“Right. But it is”

He spends a few moments trying to come up with the right words, a handful of seconds spent with part of his brain wishing he could have a talk with all the men who made you feel unsafe. How many? Where, why? Are they the reason why Osamu wants to get so desperately close and yet keep a respectful distance, not to scare you off, not to be another name added to the list of creeps you surely hate?

“Why did you kiss me?” those are far from being the right, considerate words he was trying to summon, but they bubble up from his throat before he can stop them.

You hum, pensive “I don’t know. You’re pretty, you’re gentle, I thought t’was what you expected to happen. It’s what men usually expect in return”

“In return for what?” he fights the urge to keep his eyes down, confident that the darkness will conceal the redness of his cheeks. You think he’s pretty and the first thing his dumb brain is able to link the revelation to, is Atsumu. Shit, he was right, this means you do find him attractive as well.

“Anything, really” your chuckle is devoid of actual humor “I know this night was supposed to make up for it but I didn’t expect to have so much fun. Regardless, I hope we’re even now”

Osamu furrows his brows.

“Ya think that’s why I invited ya?”

“Why else?”

He almost laughs, incredulous. You hide that mistrust really well, Osamu has to give it you. It feels unfair that life has given someone who seemingly has everything, so many reasons to think you can only be seen as an empty shell, some trophy with the sole purpose of being flaunted.

“You said you were leaving. I didn’t like the idea of not seeing you again”

“Really?” your lips curl into a small smile “the weird girl who jumped you on your first meeting?”

“You’re weird” he concedes “and selfless. Intelligent. Maybe jokes are not your forte but, hey, ya get to look like that” your laugh compliments his really well and Osamu can’t help but think he’d like to sit in a park, in the middle of the night, and talk and laugh and be with you just once more.

You briefly wonder if the man sitting so close to you is aware of just how devastatingly charming he is. Part of you wishes he’d want to take you out on a proper date, let you meet his friends on different occasions, include a weird stranger in such a well balanced life. Part of you also knows you’d never want to ruin that for him. Not for someone like Osamu. People who are unfortunate enough to stumble across you are almost always harassed away, it’s a life you’re used to and can’t bring yourself to run from. It’s who you are and, most importantly, all you have. It’d be too dangerous for your heart to desire anything different.

But he’s looking at you as if you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, land emerged from the sea millions of years ago for his eyes only to experience such a sight. No one’s ever looked at you with such wonder.

“I don’t want to assume” he holds your gaze locked to his, swing dangling lightly as he leans closer “so is it okay if I ask?”

“Yes” you utter a little too breathlessly.

“Can I kiss ya?”

You hum in affirmation and close your eyes, heart beating a little faster than what you’re used to as you sense his proximity. He smells nice, radiates warmth and his soft hair tickles a little when his lips gently press to your cheek.

Osamu smiles when he catches a glimpse of disappointment flashing over your features, the first of many clues he wants to learn how to interpret correctly. The cracks in a facade he’d make his personal mission to tear down.

“I know you have to go away tomorrow” he gently moves a strand of hair away from your forehead “but I wondered, if you didn’t, whether you might let me see ya a little. Or a lot, maybe”

You lean into his touch, calloused fingertips still barely grazing your skin.

“A lot sounds good”

[steveyockey]

“Feel free to share your positive feelings about the film on Twitter after the screening,” said the usher introducing the London press preview screening of Barbie, Greta Gerwig’s Mattel-produced film. The embargo for reviews, however, would not be lifted until two days later, closer to the film’s release. The audience generally didn’t bat an eyelid and it wasn’t the first time my colleagues and I had heard such directives, yet we were left feeling censored: if they won’t allow for our negative reactions, why should they get our positive ones?

The purpose of this strategy barely needs specifying: in addition to the film’s omnipresent marketing campaign, positive reactions on social media were to seal the deal and ensure that the most dubious potential spectators would be persuaded to turn up to the cinema on the opening weekend, the most crucial days for a film’s box office success. The fact that the audience at this preview screening consisted mostly of influencers was another blatant marketing strategy, which would not have been as insulting were it not for the fact that it meant many film critics were unable to see the film before its release. The phenomenon occurred in other cities as well. A few days before the film’s release, Parisian writers were dumbfounded to see some colleagues sharing glowing takes on the film on Twitter, after being told there would be no advance screenings for any of the press. Moreover, what were presented as exclusive interviews with the cast turned out to be prerecorded and pre-approved by the studio. Ahead of its release, the film was to be seen only through pink-tinted glasses.

While it is customary for film studios to try to control the narrative by organising advance screenings if they believe in a film or avoiding them if they don’t, the methods employed for the release of Barbie were more extreme. They are symptomatic of a trend that has been evolving over the past few years and that concerns not only the film criticism profession, but culture at large. If all discussion of a film’s merits before release is left to influencers, whose driving ambition is to receive free merchandise by speaking well of the studio’s products, what can we expect the film landscape to look like? Where will engaging, challenging and, if not completely unbiased then at least impartial conversation about cinema take place, and how is the audience to think critically of what is being sold to it?

[bratzkoo]

barely yours | mingyu pt. 5

Author: bratzkoo | navi Pairing: rockstar! mingyu x reader Word Count: 2.6k Genre: fluff, angst, smut-ish Rating: NC-17 Possible Warnings: mingyu is not an idiot anymore. not descriptive sex but there’s sex. written in third person.

Summary: you flirt, you fuck, but when you hint that you want to be more he dismissed it as if you’re joking… and when you decide to ignore him he comes back with flowers at your doorstep.

taglist (hit me up if you wanna be added): ​@ca-clover, @junniesoleilkth , @gaslysainz , @darkerrdaze , @mansaaay , @childish-fear r , @lixisoul99 , @cherrylovescheol , @yuyu1024 , @tacolombe , @black-swan-blog27 , @tulipndtale , @xuimhao , @cookiearmy , @gyuguys , @brownbunnyb

requests are open, but you can just say hi! | masterlist

The opulent Grand Palais glittered under the Parisian night sky, its glass dome reflecting the stars above and the flashing cameras below. Paris Fashion Week was in full swing, and tonight's show was the most anticipated of the season. Mingyu adjusted his designer suit for the umpteenth time, still somewhat uncomfortable in the world of high fashion. But as the face of several luxury brands and with HHT's growing influence in the industry, his presence here was inevitable.

As he made his way down the red carpet, Mingyu couldn't help but feel a sense of unreality. Five years ago, he never would have imagined himself here, rubbing shoulders with the elite of the fashion world. The flashing lights and calls from photographers were familiar, but the context was all wrong. He was used to stages and concert venues, not runways and fashion shows.

"Mingyu! Over here!" "Kim Mingyu, who are you wearing tonight?" "Mingyu, is it true HHT is collaborating with Chanel for your next comeback?"

He answered the questions with practiced ease, his idol smile firmly in place. But inside, his stomach churned with anticipation. He knew she would be here tonight. Y/N. The woman he'd never quite gotten over, despite years of distance and silence.

As he entered the grand hall, Mingyu's eyes scanned the crowd. A mix of celebrities, designers, and industry insiders milled about, their chatter creating a low hum that filled the space. He nodded at a few familiar faces, exchanged pleasantries with a designer he'd worked with recently. But his attention was divided, always searching.

And then, he saw her.

Y/N stood across the room, and the sight of her knocked the breath from Mingyu's lungs. She was radiant in a sleek, black gown that shimmered with every movement, its high slit offering tantalizing glimpses of her leg. Her hair, longer than he remembered, was swept up in an elegant updo, exposing the graceful line of her neck. She was engaged in conversation with a group of admirers, her laugh carrying across the space. The sound made Mingyu's heart skip a beat, just as it had all those years ago.

For a moment, Mingyu forgot how to breathe. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, more poised, more confident. This wasn't the Y/N he'd known as HHT's manager. This was Y/N the successful entrepreneur, the fashion icon, the woman who had taken the beauty world by storm with her perfumes and skincare line.

As if sensing his gaze, Y/N looked up. Their eyes met across the crowded room, and for a moment, the world seemed to stand still. The chatter faded away, the flashing lights dimmed. There was only Y/N, her eyes wide with recognition, a small gasp escaping her perfectly painted lips.

Mingyu watched, his heart pounding, as Y/N excused herself from her group and made her way towards him. Each step she took seemed to last an eternity. He felt rooted to the spot, his pulse quickening with every click of her heels on the marble floor.

"Mingyu," she said, her voice soft but clear above the ambient chatter. "It's been a while."

Hearing her say his name again after so long sent a shiver down Mingyu's spine. He swallowed hard, trying to find his voice. "Y/N," he breathed, drinking in the sight of her. "You look... amazing."

A slight blush colored her cheeks, and Mingyu was struck by how familiar that look was. For a moment, he saw a flash of the Y/N he used to know, the one who would get flustered when he complimented her backstage after a show.

"Thank you," she said, her composure quickly returning. "You're not looking too bad yourself. I see the fashion world has embraced you."

Mingyu chuckled, running a hand through his carefully styled hair. "More like they've tolerated me. I still feel a bit out of place at these things."

"Could have fooled me," Y/N replied with a small smile. "You look like you belong here."

They fell into an awkward silence, years of unspoken words hanging between them. Mingyu's mind raced, trying to find the right thing to say. Should he mention her perfume? Ask about her business? Apologize for the years of distance?

Finally, he cleared his throat. "Congratulations on 'Solène.' It's... quite a name."

Y/N's eyes flickered with an unreadable emotion. Was it sadness? Regret? Or was he just projecting his own feelings onto her? "Thank you," she said after a moment. "I heard 'Shadow' is topping charts worldwide. Seems we're both doing well for ourselves."

The tension was palpable. Mingyu was about to speak, to say something, anything to break through the wall of politeness between them, when a waiter approached with a tray of champagne. They both reached for a glass, their fingers brushing momentarily. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through them both, and Mingyu saw Y/N's eyes widen slightly at the contact.

"To success," Y/N said, raising her glass, her voice slightly breathless.

"To old friends," Mingyu countered, clinking his glass against hers. He held her gaze as they drank, searching for any sign that she felt the same turmoil he did.

As the night wore on, Mingyu found himself gravitating towards Y/N again and again. They made small talk with other guests, posed for photos, applauded the runway shows. But always, his eyes would seek her out in the crowd, and more often than not, he'd find her looking back.

One drink led to another, and soon they found themselves slipping away from the main event, seeking a quieter spot to catch up. They ended up in a secluded balcony overlooking the Parisian skyline, the Eiffel Tower glittering in the distance.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Y/N said, leaning against the railing. The soft breeze played with a few loose strands of her hair, and Mingyu had to resist the urge to tuck them behind her ear.

"Yeah," he agreed, though his eyes were fixed on her profile rather than the view. "Beautiful."

Y/N turned to him, a knowing smile on her lips. "You're not even looking at the skyline, are you?"

Caught, Mingyu felt heat rise to his cheeks. "Can you blame me? The view right here is much more captivating."

Y/N laughed, the sound sending warmth spreading through Mingyu's chest. "Still the smooth talker, I see. Some things never change."

"Some things do," Mingyu said softly. "You've changed. You seem... happier. More confident."

Y/N's smile softened. "I am. This life, this career... it's everything I ever wanted." She paused, her eyes searching his face. "What about you, Mingyu? Are you happy?"

The question caught him off guard. Was he happy? He had fame, fortune, adoring fans. HHT was more successful than ever. But standing here with Y/N, he realized there had always been something missing.

"I thought I was," he admitted. "But seeing you again... I'm not so sure anymore."

The air between them seemed to thicken with unspoken emotions. Y/N took a step closer, close enough that Mingyu could smell her perfume – "Barely Yours," he realized with a start.

"Mingyu," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why did we let so much time pass? Why did we stop talking?"

Mingyu's heart raced. This was it, the moment he'd both longed for and dreaded. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I guess we both got caught up in our own worlds. It was easier to focus on work than to face... whatever this is between us."

Y/N nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I've missed this," she said softly. "I've missed you."

Those words broke something in Mingyu. Without thinking, he closed the distance between them, cupping Y/N's face in his hands. "I've missed you too," he whispered. "So much."

Their lips met in a kiss that was five years in the making. It was soft at first, tentative, both of them unsure. But then Y/N's arms wound around Mingyu's neck, pulling him closer, and the kiss deepened. Years of pent-up emotion and desire poured out, leaving them both breathless and wanting more.

When they finally broke apart, Mingyu rested his forehead against Y/N's, his eyes closed as he savored the moment. "What are we doing?" he asked, his voice rough with emotion.

Y/N's fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "I don't know," she admitted. "But I don't want to stop."

Mingyu pulled back slightly, searching her eyes. "Y/N, I-"

But she pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him. "Not here," she said. "My hotel is just around the corner. We can... talk there."

The implication in her words was clear. Mingyu swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. "Are you sure?"

Y/N nodded, her gaze steady despite the flush on her cheeks. "I've never been more sure of anything."

The walk to Y/N's hotel was a blur. Mingyu was hyper-aware of her hand in his, of the way her dress shimmered under the streetlights, of the anticipation building with each step. They barely made it into the elevator before he was kissing her again, pressing her against the mirrored wall as her hands fumbled with his tie.

As the hotel room door closed behind them, Mingyu felt his heart racing. He couldn't believe he was here, with Y/N, after all this time. The soft glow of the bedside lamp cast a warm light across her features, making her look almost ethereal.

"Y/N," he breathed, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you sure about this?"

In response, Y/N stepped closer, eliminating the space between them. She placed a hand on his chest, and Mingyu was sure she could feel his heart pounding beneath her palm.

"I've never been more sure of anything," she whispered, echoing her words from earlier.

Their lips met in a kiss that was both familiar and thrillingly new. Mingyu's hands found their way to Y/N's waist, pulling her closer. The scent of her perfume enveloped him, igniting memories of stolen moments from years past.

As they made their way towards the bed, Mingyu couldn't shake the feeling of surreality. Here he was, with the woman he'd never quite gotten over, the one who had haunted his dreams and inspired countless songs. His fingers trembled slightly as he unzipped her dress, revealing smooth skin that he'd thought he'd never touch again.

"You're shaking," Y/N murmured, her eyes searching his.

Mingyu let out a shaky laugh. "I just... I can't believe this is real. That you're here, that we're..."

Y/N silenced him with another kiss, this one deeper, more urgent. "It's real," she assured him between kisses. "We're real."

As clothing fell away and they tumbled onto the bed, Mingyu took a moment to simply look at Y/N. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, her body a canvas of soft curves and elegant lines. He traced a finger along her collarbone, marveling at the way she shivered at his touch.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I've missed you so much."

Y/N's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I've missed you too, Mingyu. More than you know."

What followed was a rediscovery of each other, a dance of passion and tenderness. Mingyu kissed every inch of skin he could reach, relearning the map of Y/N's body. Her sighs and soft moans were music to his ears, more beautiful than any song he'd ever written.

As they moved together, Mingyu felt overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions. This was more than just physical attraction; it was a reconnection of souls that had been apart for far too long. He poured years of longing, of regret, of unspoken love into every touch, every kiss.

"Y/N," he gasped as they neared their peak. "I lo-"

But she pressed a finger to his lips, shaking her head slightly. "Not now," she whispered. "Just feel."

And so he did, losing himself in the moment, in the warmth of Y/N's embrace, in the perfection of their bodies moving as one.

Afterwards, as they lay tangled in the sheets, Mingyu traced lazy patterns on Y/N's bare shoulder. The reality of what had just happened was starting to sink in, bringing with it a mix of elation and uncertainty.

"What happens now?" he asked softly, voicing the question that hung heavily in the air.

Y/N was quiet for a long moment. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "But can we... can we just have this moment? Before the real world comes crashing back in?"

Mingyu nodded, pulling her closer. As Y/N's breathing evened out and she drifted off to sleep, Mingyu remained awake, his mind racing. He knew that morning would bring complications, questions, and possibly regrets. But for now, he allowed himself to simply be, holding the woman he loved in his arms, savoring a moment he'd thought would never come again.

The next morning, sunlight streamed through the hotel room windows, rousing Mingyu from a deep sleep. For a moment, he was disoriented, but then the events of the previous night came rushing back. He turned to find Y/N still asleep beside him, her hair splayed across the pillow, her face peaceful in repose.

As he watched her sleep, a mix of emotions washed over him. Joy at their reunion, confusion about what this meant for their future, and a lingering fear that this might be nothing more than a one-night trip down memory lane. But underlying it all was a sense of rightness, as if a missing piece of himself had finally clicked back into place.

Y/N stirred, her eyes fluttering open. When she saw Mingyu, a soft smile spread across her face. "Good morning," she murmured, her voice husky with sleep.

"Good morning," he replied, his heart swelling with affection.

They lay there in silence for a moment, the weight of their actions settling over them. There was no going back now. The question was, where did they go from here?

As the bustling sounds of Paris waking up filtered through the window, Mingyu knew they had a lot to talk about. The shadows of their past and the echoes of their promises hung in the air, waiting to be addressed. But looking at Y/N, seeing the warmth in her eyes and the soft curve of her smile, Mingyu felt a surge of hope.

Whatever challenges lay ahead, whatever complications their night together might bring, Mingyu knew one thing for certain: he wasn't letting Y/N slip away again. They had been given a second chance, and this time, he was determined to get it right.

"Y/N," he said softly, reaching out to caress her cheek. "I think... I think we need to talk."

Y/N nodded, her expression turning serious. "I know. But first..." She leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "Thank you for last night. For everything."

Mingyu loses his smile when Y/N seems to get ready to leave.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Charles Leclerc x princess of Monaco reader

When their relationship gets discovered by the public eye, it's starting to get a bit chaotic. Contrary to [Y/n]'s worries, people react positively and start to even wonder if Charles is going to become an actual prince of Monaco.

words count: 3.6k

cursive is for memories

As I was finishing writing this last night, I've received such a fun idea for rivals to lovers for reader x Charles, so you know what fic to expect next;)

The Princess

Keeping your relationship private isn't an easy thing when you're royalty, the literal princess of Monaco, and your boyfriend is a famous Formula One driver. But somewhat [Y/n] and Charles managed to remain private until their engagement.

Of course, there were theories and people were suspecting it. Both [Y/n] and Charles were from Monaco and single for a suspiciously long period of time, so rumours were writing itself.

It wasn't that weird when it came to the princess being single, at first people even speculated about her preparing for some political marriage that would be beneficial for her country. However, Charles had quite the reputation when it came to dating, so fans were pretty surprised he 'stayed single' for so long.

Everything cleared up and fans' theories became reality, when [Y/n] and Charles were caught sneaking out of one parisian restaurant through the back door. It was the evening that Charles had proposed to [Y/n] and she wanted it to be officially announced on the next day, but unfortunately they were noticed by some paparazzi.

"I knew we weren't going to keep it this way forever," [Y/n] sighed, seated in the passenger seat of Charles' Rolls Royce Wraith, "but I wanted it to be officially announced."

"Don't worry, love." Charles assured, putting his right hand on the woman's thigh. His left hand was on the steering wheel, controlling the car at a speed that had surpassed the legal limit some time ago. "We might not have control over how the news got out, but it doesn't matter, people's opinions don't matter."

"True, but I hope the official announcement won't be overshadowed by the media's articles. You know how they are."

"And what if it does? The only thing that matters to me is our love, I don't care if people that I don't even know approve or not."

The night air whispered against the windows as they sped through the city, the glow of streetlights reflecting inside the car. They were already far from the center of Paris, no paparazzi in sight anymore.

As they reached the destination, which was a mansion located in a secluded place, Charles got out of the car and rushed to open the door for [Y/n].

"Thank you, love." [Y/n] smiled, stepping out of the vehicle. "I'm sorry this had to end with us evacuating like that."

"It's no problem at all, I'm quite used to the spotlight, nothing new for me." Charles joked, walking alongside his now fiancée towards the door of the building.

"I was hoping it wouldn't be like this. I mean, Nikolai has a pretty normal life in Australia, people don't stalk him wherever he goes. In Sydney he isn't Nikolai the prince of Denmark, he's just a normal person. I thought I could be the same in Paris."

"Chérie, as much as I love you, I cannot agree with you. I think there is a small difference between Paris and Sydney," Charles laughed.

They entered the mansion, the opulence of the surroundings contrasting with the night's earlier events. The warmth of the mansion was a contrast to the moments they had just left behind.

As they settled into a cosy sitting room, [Y/n] asked her maid to bring a bottle of champagne.

"Maybe I should leave my royal title." [Y/n] wondered out loud. "There were cases in which the royals left their titles to marry someone."

"No," Charles shook his head, "I would never forgive myself if you made this decision solely based on tonight. I think partially the fault is also mine, don't forget I drive in Formula One."

The maid returned with a chilled bottle of champagne, uncorking it as [Y/n] and Charles continued their conversation.

"Thank you," [Y/n] smiled at the maid and then shifted her focus back to Charles. "I appreciate your concern, Charles, but it's not just about tonight. I love you, and I want to be with you, but sometimes, I wish we could escape the constant judgement. I don't want my title to affect you in bad ways."

Charles reached for her hand. "I get it, [Y/n]. And I admire you for even considering it. But I fell in love with you, the princess, just as much as I did with [Y/n], the person. Your title is a part of who you are and I wouldn't want you to give that up for me."

"I just wish we could have a life where we're not constantly under the public microscope."

"Then we'll find a way to make it work. We'll create our own story, one that is above the titles and the fame. [Y/n], I've just proposed to you tonight. I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't ready for everything it brings into my life."

They continued to enjoy the evening while the flickering flames in the fireplace cast a warm glow over the room. The world outside seemed distant.

In that moment it was just Charles and [Y/n], two people deeply in love. Not 'the princess and the Formule Ona driver'. Inside the walls of [Y/n]'s family's mansion, they were just normal people.

On the next day, as [Y/n] and Charles had woken up, the media was already filled with rumours about them. It seemed as if the whole world was talking about last night.

"I contacted my spokeswoman," [Y/n] announced to Charles as they sat down to breakfast. "Our engagement will be officially announced as soon as possible, apparently the statement has been ready for a few months now."

Charles couldn't help but let out an amused chuckle slip out of his mouth. "A few months? Were they predicting our engagement?"

[Y/n] joined in his laughter, shaking her head. "Oh, they're always prepared for anything."

"How did your parents react? Have you spoken to them?"

"Well, it'll be the time for you to meet them. I've been postponing it, but now we're engaged and it can't be avoided."

"I've been telling you I should meet them already. I don't want them to think it was me who didn't want to do it."

"I told them I didn't want to jinx it!"

"Well, I've been practicing my royal etiquette. It time to make a use out of it."

"You'll be just fine, Charles. Just be yourself." [Y/n] giggled. "You know, in their eyes you're one of the best candidates."

Formula One was important for Monaco and Monaco was important for Formula One, so when [Y/n]'s parents found out she's dating a driver, a monégasque one, they were very content.

Unfortunately, there were some issues the couple was about to face. Being engaged didn't bring any legal responsibilities, however once they get married, things could change.

[Y/n] and Charles landed in Monaco in a private jet chartered for them. They were greeted by a big crowd of people eager to know the whole story.

"We aren't supposed to give impromptu interviews." [Y/n] said quietly, walking down the stairs from the plane.

Charles, a few steps behind her, replied with a mischievous grin, "Why not? It would be fun. Spontaneity can be good for us."

As they stepped off the plane, they began to walk side by side. Charles offered his arm to [Y/n], who gracefully looped her hand around his forearm.

"My spokeswoman advised this to me." [Y/n] answered. What she didn't mention was that her spokeswoman was worried about Charles saying something inappropriate.

The couple continued their walk with smiles on their faces. [Y/n] occassionaly waved at someone. It was a bit windy that day and she was thankful for wearing a long dress that day, because it wasn't that easy to be lifted up by the wind.

Somehow, their attention was then captured by a friendly-looking journalist who approached with a warm smile. [Y/n] gestured to the bodyguard, who Charles thought was unnecessary, indicating that they were willing to engage in a brief conversation.

"Princess [Y/n], Mr. Leclerc, thank you for sparing a moment." The woman began, without even introducing herself. "The world is eager to hear more about your engagement. Everyone is curious how did you manage to keep the relationship a secret for so long."

Charles and [Y/n] exchanged a brief glance.

Then [Y/n] decided to speak. "We just valued our privacy and wanted to savor the moments without external pressures. We're grateful for the time we had to get to know each other and form a connection away from the spotlight."

The journalist continued with the next question. "And what made you decide to go public with the engagement now?"

"We literally got engaged last night." Charles admitted with a playful smile. "We planned to announce it a little later, but we were seen anyway, so thought why not."

"Many people are already speculating about the wedding. Can you give us any hints about when and where it might take place?"

[Y/n], maintaining a diplomatic demeanor, responded. "We're still in the early stages of planning. When we have the details, we'll share them with everyone."

The woman didn't seem satisfied with the princess' reply. She decided to shift her attention completely to Charles. "And, Charles, as you might know, people have been calling you the unofficial prince of Monaco for years and now you're about to marry into the royal family."

Charles, caught off guard by the unexpected question, scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin. "Well, unofficial prince or not, I don't think anyone would want me leading official ceremonies. I'm more comfortable behind the wheel of a racing car than in any royal procession."

The journalist chuckled at his candid response, appreciating the touch of humor to the so far serious interview. [Y/n] smiled lightly, but deep down she was worried about how the public might perceive Charles's.

Noticing [Y/n]'s concern, Charles quickly added with a playful wink. "But who knows? Maybe I'll become the first prince who can pull off a pit stop during a royal banquet."

"One last question. Do you think there will be any changes in your career, induced the responsibilities that come with being part of a royal family? For example, princess [Y/n]'s grandmother had to leave her Hollywood dream."

"Marrying into the royal family is a bit like joining a new team, isn't it?" Charles joked, searching for a proper answer in his mind. "But seriously, I don't see myself giving up my racing career. It's my passion and I'm lucky to have the support of [Y/n] and her family in pursuing it."

[Y/n] decided to chime in. "It's a unique situation and we'll try to find the balance between Charles' racing career and any new royal responsibilities."

Charles and [Y/n], having left the interview behind, found the car that was supposed to take them straight to [Y/n]'s parents' palace. Charles opened the door for [Y/n] and soon after that the both of them were sitting in the back of the car.

The car moved smoothly through the small city and thankfully the windows in the back were darkened, so that the couple could feel more comfortable. Charles couldn't ignore the quiet need for the driver's seat. The engine's sound and the familiarity of the steering wheel, and the city outside the vehicle, held a certain comfort that the backseat couldn't quite provide.

He stole a glance at [Y/n], her hand still intertwined with his. "You know, love, I can't stop thinking about how much I'd rather be driving right now. No offense to our chauffeur, of course."

The man in the driver's seat took a glance at Charles through the rearview mirror, smiling sympathetically.

[Y/n], with a smile, leaned closer to Charles. "I know, I know, but this way it's more official. You'll have opportunities to be the driver."

The chauffeur, overhearing their banter, chimed in. "I'd be happy to trade places with you, Mr. Leclerc, but I doubt the palace would approve."

Being reffered to as 'Mr. Leclerc' was another thing Charles had to get used to. For most of the time to people, to fans , journalists and others he was just Charles. Or Leclerc. And now people began to put 'mister' in front of his name.

The trio shared a light laugh as the car came to a stop in front of [Y/n]'s parents' palace. After stepping out of the vehicle, Charles and [Y/n] approached the entrance of the building and the man could feel some stress appearing in his body.

He wasn't stressing before at all. But now the reality of the situation hit him with full force. He was meeting his future wife's parents. Not only this, but also they were royalty.

Holy shit, Charles was about to marry into royalty.

The couple was holding hands, so [Y/n] could feel Charles' hand starting to lightly shake.

"I told you, you have nothing to worry about." [Y/n] assured, trying to calm his nerves.

"Easy to say," Charles said, a hint of anxiety in his voice, "your parents are, like, the most important people in Monaco."

"And? You as well. Fans have been referring to you as the prince of Monaco for years, think about it this way."

The palace doors opened, revealing a grand foyer. The couple stepped inside, entering a world of regality. It was this moment when Charles realized how real it all was. The anxiety lingered, but he found a remedy for it in [Y/n]'s presence.

The couple was walked into the drawing room. Charles glanced at [Y/n], who gave him an encouraging smile, and for a moment it was just the two of them. Not for long, however. Their little moment was interrupted by the arrival of [Y/n]'s parents.

"Mother, father," [Y/n] gracefully curtsied.

"Your majesties, it's an honor." Charles greeted, bowing his head.

By the time [Y/n] came back from her curtsy and Charles looked up, [Y/f/n] was extending his arm towards the man, offering a handshake. Charles respectufully accepted the gesture.

As their hands met, Charles decided to introduce himself. "Charles Leclerc," he said, being cut off before he could say more.

"Our national treasure, indeed. We're well acquainted with your accomplishments."

The room echoed with a shared laughter, breaking the ice and setting the tone for a lighter conversation. It was something that eased Charles' nerves. Of course, he still had to follow the etiquette, but [Y/f/n]'s remark made the situation feel less formal. After all, royalty is people as well.

The conversation smoothly continued as both the couples sat down on the elegant, antique sofas.

"And how did you two figure out 'this is it'?" [Y/m/n] inquired with a playful twinkle in her eye. "I don't think you've told me this story, [Y/n]."

"Of course, it started when we met at the race in Monaco a few years ago." [Y/n] smiled at the memory.

It was the first Monaco Grand Prix that [Y/n] attended, four years ago. Accompanied by friends, [Y/n] made a casual appearance in the paddock for media purposes, not initially a fan of Formula One. However, that day changed everything.

Their eyes met for seconds, but it was enough for Charles to get enchanted by [Y/n]. Her smile, her eyes, the way she moved so gracefully. They met again the same day after the race, when [Y/n] took her time to pay a visit into every garage.

"Mate, I'm telling you, shoot your shot." Sebastian encouraged his teammate. "Everyone on the grid can see the way you look at each other."

"Are you kidding?" Charles refused. "She's royalty. What would I even say?"

"Come on, you're not just anyone. You're Charles Leclerc. I'm sure she wouldn't refuse a date."

Charles couldn't help but chuckle at Sebastian's persistence. "Seb, she's a princess. I can't just approach her like it's not a big deal."

"It is not a big deal, though!"

"What if I make a fool out of myself?"

And so, the worries won that time. Charles, scared of embarrassing himself, barely made any conversation with the princess when she approached the Ferrari garage.

He waited a year, because a princess is not someome you can just hit up on social media. He waited a year, hoping she will visit the paddock again. She did, but unfortunately with a man. She was in a relationship with a prince, exactly the way royalty works.

Discouraged, Charles decided to give up on her, eventually finding himself in a relationship with someone else as well. The irony struck him when [Y/n] was single again a year later. Of course, he couldn't make any move, being in a relationship himself.

Maybe if he was single at the time, he would have finally found the courage to have a private conversation with the princess. He felt as if he missed out and he hated himself for having these thoughts.

One more year had passed and eventually the both of them found themselves single by the time of the Monaco Grand Prix. Charles didn't hold back and this time started a conversation with the princess.

"Your royal highness," he greeted, "fancy meeting you here again. Although you do seem lonely."

It was a fact. [Y/n] indeed came to the Grand Prix alone that year. Without a boyfriend, obviously due to the breakup, and also without her friends.

"Well, you've caught me," [Y/n] chuckled, "attenting the Grand Prix by my lonesome. I must admit, the prince was never a fan."

"Oh, and why is that?"

"He was an average insecure man. According to him, I am a fan just because you drivers are physically attractive." [Y/n] stopped herself from smiling after that sentence. After all, there was a bit of truth in this in her case.

"Well, aren't we?" Charles opted for a cheeky question.

"Touché." The smile creeped up onto the princess' face by itself. "I suppose there's some truth to his observations."

"And what exactly would a princess like yourself do in the case of getting asked for a deliberate encounter?"

"Are you suggesting something?" [Y/n]'s eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief.

"Yes, what do you say to a more intentional rendezvous, perhaps over dinner?"

[Y/n]'s smile widened, and she nodded. "Hmm, that sounds like a rather bold move. But I must admit, I appreciate boldness. Dinner it is."

And that was basically how their romance unfolded. Both [Y/n] and Charles were grateful for the way the events played out. Charles found in [Y/n] not just a princess but a person in whom he could find solace and support, and [Y/n] discovered in Charles a partner who liked her for more than her royal status.

The engagement, announced under unexpected circumstances, only strenghtened their commitment to each other. Not a long time after, the day of their wedding came.

The ceremony took place in the Saint Nicholas Cathedral and was attended by, first and foremost, the families of both the bride and the groom, by other members of royalty, and also by Charles' fellow drivers, principals of the teams, a lot of people related to Charles' 'workplace' in general.

[Y/n] walked down the aisle, holding the arm of her father. The moment important in the royal tradition. Charles, waiting at the altar, couldn't help but marvel at the sight of his soon-to-be wife. Her white dress highlighted her grace, making Charles question if he's actually worthy of being her husband.

The vows they exchanged were personal and heartfelt, expressing their love, talking about their past, including a promise to grow old together.

The reception was held at the palace. The couple danced their first dance as husband and wife, surrounded by the music of a live orchestra. A bit later, it was the time to socialize with the guests.

"You did end up as the prince of Monaco, after all." Charles' friend, Pierre, joked, recalling the nickname made up by fans.

Charles chuckled at Pierre's comment. "The people have manifested it. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Esteban joined the laughter, adding with a grin, "Should we start addressing you as your royal highness now?"

The groom playfully rolled his eyes. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm still the same old Charles, just with a fancy title."

In the same moment the groom was having a chat with his friends, [Y/n] made her way toward his younger brother, Arthur, who served as the best man at the wedding.

"Princess [Y/n]!" Arthur said, raising his glass in a greeting. "Quite the celebration, isn't it?"

"It is, indeed," [Y/n] replied, smiling, "and your speech made it even better."

"Thank you, I tried my best. It was my first time and the huge amount of guests didn't make it better."

"You did wonderful regardless." She paused. "And, by the way, there's no need for formalities, we're family now. Call me just [Y/n]."

"Deal, [Y/n]," he clinked his glass with hers, "and, if Charles ever does anything to upset you, let me know. I'll try to put him in his place. He is really lucky to have you."

"Hopefully I'll never have to take you up on that offer," she giggled.

"I have a feeling you two are going to have an amazing life together."

The night continued with celebrations, toasts, music inside the walls of the enchanting palace. The newlyweds were happy to share this moment with all the people they had invited.

A few hours into the celebration, so late at night it could be as well called morning, [Y/n] and Charles found themselves swaying to a slow song.

"How are you enjoying the celebration, my prince?" [Y/n] whispered, audibly just for her husband.

Charles' smile reflected the happiness in his heart. "I couldn't have asked for more. One of my biggest dreams came true."

"One of them? What are the other big ones?"

"Becoming the world champion." He chuckled. "Do you even know me at all?"

[Y/n] playfully rolled her eyes. "I was hoping for some more romantic goal."

"I didn't say I'd trade you for the championship, did I?"

"I know you wouldn't." She paused. "One step at a time, Charlie. You'll be the first prince to win it."

[musicandotherstuff]

Recent photo of Alex Turner taken by a fan, 2024

chris_bloodfilms: "It's 2005, a band explodes on MySpace. They're dressed like you and their lyrics are a mirror to your life. Bleeding heck, who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?

After 19 years on repeat it's now 2024. Myself and @/conor_bloodfilms are travelling back from Paris

We arrive at Gare Du Nord and Duffy stops in his tracks. He whispers to me "I think that's Alex Turner." "F**k off!" I immediately reply. I gaze over at a guy wearing a leather jacket with long brown hair, his face adorned with aviators. We should probably stop staring as it's getting weird, sexually and aggressively weird.

Turns out it is bloody Alex Turner, the man who's provided the soundtrack to my life! He strolls past and disappears into the Parisian platform crowd. A missed opportunity.

We board our train back to London. We look to our left and there's Alex. Sitting in his seat accompanied by a notepad. He's probably writing the next Arctic Monkeys hit "Two gawping pricks on a train". We really need to stop staring.

I tell Duffers I'm going in, he stops me. Reminds me that I'm a fully functioning adult and not to create a scene. Christ, he's right! I feel like I'm 15 years old again, someone get me a Strongbow and whack Dancing Shoes on, kin hell lad!

Eventually myself and Con engage, it's a surreal experience. Alex is polite and returns conversation in a soft friendly manner. The whole situation is just bloody lovely.

I awkwardly ask if I can take his portrait, fully aware that it could result in an awkward excha"

[bloodfestgf]

I think it’s really a somewhat unfortunate thing for people to be so weird and racist about louis exploring his sexuality and kink as a black gay man in paris (and jacob talks sooo extensively about james baldwin’s influence on his character this season) after escaping his abusive white father-maker-lover (one of the first things he tells people in paris is that he’s still trying to discover himself). why wouldn’t he want to step out of the role of the subservient suffering wife that lestat forced him to play and enjoy pushing against the constraints forced on him by the maker-fledging + white master-black lover dynamics without those specific power dynamics overshadowing his romantic relationships. there’s a lot of conversation about armand’s trauma informing his sexual preferences but you have to understand that this happened with louis too to a certain degree even if I personally feel it just comes down to his personal preference at the end of the day. the show is explicit about one thing - armand did feel safe sharing his history and ceding control to louis under consensual circumstances which are probably not things he’s ever done even when he had sexual relationships with other members of the parisian coven. a relationship with louis gave him the freedom he needed to extricate himself from the confining circumstances of coven life and the job he didn’t particularly enjoy.

the relationship having undercurrents of complex issues that inform their dynamic and lay bare their vulnerabilities and flaws isn’t something to comment upon uniquely just because they have an established dom/sub dynamic. there are a lot of angles informing the dynamic they settle into besides just their trauma because the show is specifically trying to make a lot of other commentary. armand seeking a master and lover and god in louis in vain because of his history with marius (and probably informed by the part he played in claudia’s death) is just as significant as him constantly micromanaging louis who’s treated like the metaphorical mad woman in the attic with mental illnesses who’s confined for her own safety. louis’ own worship of lestat’s masculinity, his desire to ascend the capitalist hierarchy, and his familial roles often acting as an extension of the patriarchal ones you see him engage in with his mother and sister and claudia are just as useful tools to examine the subtext in their relationship besides just. trauma lol.

at the end of the day it’s literally fine for louis to enjoy being a dom in their relationship. I think I hate the concept of louis being a suffering dom enduring the dynamic for armand even more because it seeks to apply moral judgement to anybody who takes on a more dominant role during, what is after all, just sex. a lot of people didn’t really absorb louis really enjoying cultivating a dom/sub relationship with 70s daniel, I guess.

[rmadridcore]

Between Us - Part 2

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Reader

Summary: You and Kylian have been inseparable friends for years, but when unspoken feelings bubble to the surface, everything changes.

Word Count: 3.1K

Part 1 Part 3 Epilogue

Masterlist

Author's note: I was thinking to post this today after the game but Real Madrid most likely won’t give us anything to be happy about lmao so here it is 😭 Thank you so so much to everyone who read the first part, I'm so glad you enjoyed it 🥹 Let me know what you think about this one. All the love 💕🎀 - Ellie.

Mornings used to be your favorite time when you were a kid. Waking up always meant you’d soon be seeing Kylian. You two would meet right before school and walk there together every morning, no matter the weather. While dreary Parisian Mondays weren’t particularly fun for a child, for you, they always meant another day spent with him.

But now, mornings weren’t the same. They were quiet, lonely even. You woke up alone, the excitement of seeing Kylian long gone, replaced by the daily grind of adulthood.

After getting out of bed, you stuck to your usual routine: skincare, coffee, jog. It had become your ritual, a way to fill the silence.

After slipping into your workout clothes and putting on your favorite playlist, you headed to the nearby park for a morning run. Usually, the steady rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement and the rush of fresh air helped clear your mind. But not today. Today, Kylian lingered in your thoughts, as he often did. It had been a week since that night at the gala, and the memory of nearly confessing your feelings for him still haunted you. But, like always, you had pulled yourself back at the last moment, the familiar self-control overpowering your desire.

Jogging normally helped push away intrusive thoughts, the early-morning energy a distraction from whatever was troubling you. But Kylian was different. Thoughts of him stuck like glue, impossible to shake. He had that kind of grip on people. Once you knew him, truly knew him, it was impossible not to crave his presence. He was magnetic, and the thought of losing him was unbearable. And, of course, for you, it was worse. You were in love with him — hopelessly, endlessly, in love with your best friend.

Without realizing it, you had started running faster, pushing yourself harder, as though you could outrun your feelings. Your lungs burned, and you finally stopped, collapsing onto a nearby bench, gasping for air. Sweat dripped down your forehead, your breath coming in ragged bursts. As you tried to steady yourself, you felt someone approach.

“I have to admit, I was hoping to bump into you somewhere,” a voice said, slightly breathless.

You looked up, still catching your breath. “Louis,” you smiled, surprised to see him. “Good to see you, too.”

He smiled warmly, pulling out his earphones. “I jog here almost every morning and I’ve never seen you around.”

“I used to come more often,” you explained, still breathing heavily. “Work’s been crazy lately.”

“Well, I’m glad you took the time today,” he said, and the two of you began walking together.

The conversation flowed easily, just like it had at the gala. Louis was a great conversationalist. Smooth, engaging, and polite. He knew how to ask the right questions and keep things moving without any awkward pauses, which you appreciated, since that was never your strong suit. His energy was light and refreshing, and for a brief moment, you managed to forget about Kylian.

After about 15 minutes of walking and talking, Louis’ phone rang. He glanced at the screen and then at you with a soft smile. “Looks like I have to get to work.”

As you both prepared to part ways, Louis hesitated, then asked, “Y/N, could I get your number? I’d love to meet up again with you.”

You froze for a moment, unsure. Kylian always seemed to loom over any chance you had at starting something new. How could you invest in someone else when your heart belonged so completely to him? Even when Kylian wasn’t making an effort, no one could ever make you feel what he did.

But maybe now was the time to start. Maybe Louis wasn’t the one, but at least he was a step in the right direction. You needed to try and move on. To reclaim your life, free from Kylian’s unintentional hold.

“Sure,” you said with a smile, giving Louis your number. He looked genuinely pleased, promising to text you later.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of normalcy. Work was smooth, uneventful even. Your thoughts had finally calmed down, and for the first time in a while, your mind wasn’t consumed by the ever-present tangle of emotions surrounding Kylian.

While out on your lunch break, your phone lit up with a notification:

Hey :) It’s Louis. How about dinner tonight?

You smiled at the cheeky smiley face and responded.

Dinner sounds great.

“I see that smile,” your coworker Gabriella teased, raising an eyebrow.

You chuckled. “Just a date.”

“With who?” Gabriella leaned in, curious.

You told her about Louis and the brief encounter at the gala, downplaying it but also feeling a small spark of excitement. Gabriella seemed more excited for you than you were, but you were looking forward to the evening.

By 6:45, you were finishing your hair. Your waves were soft and effortless, perfectly complementing the pale pink dress you had picked out. Minimal makeup highlighted your best features, and as you looked in the mirror, you felt a strange sense of pride. You looked beautiful, and it felt good to dress up for someone new.

With Kylian, you never had to put in any effort. He had seen you at your best and worst, from glamorous outfits to messy sweatpants. To him, you were always beautiful, and for that, you were grateful. But tonight felt different. With Louis, it was a chance to present your best self.

Sitting on the couch, you checked the time. 6:58. Louis would be here any minute. Your phone buzzed, and your heart skipped for a second, expecting a text from him. But it wasn’t Louis.

It was Kylian.

Wanna come over? I’m off early today.

Of course. Of all the nights, Kylian had to pick this one to invite you over. He always seemed to disrupt your plans, whether you liked it or not. If you rejected men for him, he’d show up. If you agreed to go out with them, he’d still find a way to remind you of his presence.

But tonight wasn’t about him. It was about you. You weren’t going to let him get in the way this time. Quickly, you replied:

Sorry, got plans tonight.

His reply came almost instantly.

Work?

You hesitated for a moment, then decided there was no point in hiding it.

I’m going on a date.

For what felt like an eternity, you watched as the three dots appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared. Kylian typed and erased his response several times, before finally leaving you on read.

You rolled your eyes in frustration. What is his problem?

Before you could dwell on it further, Louis texted that he was outside. You grabbed your things, took a deep breath, and headed out.

The car ride was smooth and easy, filled with laughter and lighthearted conversation. You found yourself relaxing, enjoying Louis’ company. He was sweet, thoughtful, and charming, and it felt nice to be on a date with someone who genuinely wanted to get to know you.

At the restaurant, Louis asked about your interests, your work, your life. He listened intently, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. It was a refreshing change from the superficial dates you’d had in the past. Louis didn’t seem like the type to act superior or dismissive. He was kind, respectful, and smart. On paper, he was perfect.

But midway through dinner, your phone buzzed again. You excused yourself, thinking it might be work, but it wasn’t.

When you’re done with your date, come over. I’m so bored at home. We could watch something. Unless you’re planning to go home with him, of course.

You stared at Kylian’s message, your irritation boiling over. Of course, he had to insert himself into your night. It was as if he couldn’t stand the idea of you spending time with someone else. You tried to remain composed in front of Louis, but inside, you were fuming.

Ignoring the text, you put your phone away and refocused on your date. Louis deserved your attention, not Kylian.

The night continued smoothly, and by the time you were back in Louis’ car, you felt a genuine connection. He walked you to your door, smiling softly as he said, “I had a really great time. Let’s do this again soon.”

“I'd love to,” you replied, your smile warm and sincere.

Louis leaned in, placing a soft, respectful kiss on your cheek before waving goodbye.

As soon as he drove off, the irritation you had buried earlier resurfaced. Kylian’s text was still on your mind, and you couldn’t let it go.

Impulsively, you called an Uber and headed to his place, convincing yourself that you needed to confront him. You told yourself that this was about setting boundaries, but deep down, you knew it was more than that. You always went back to him.

When Kylian opened the door, his expression was unreadable. He let you in without a word, his gaze following you as you walked past him.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight,” he muttered, switching off the video game that had been paused on his TV.

“Where did that text come from?” you asked, standing near the couch, arms crossed.

“What do you mean?” He looked away, clearly avoiding the real issue.

“You know exactly what I mean. You made it sound like I go home with a different guy every week. What was that about?” Your voice was sharp, the frustration bubbling to the surface.

Kylian shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Then how did you mean it?” you cut him off. “You can spend your weekends with dozens of women, but I can’t go out on one date?” You sat down on the couch.

He stayed silent, knowing you had a point but unsure how to respond. Instead of continuing the argument, he sat down next to you, his head hanging slightly.

That’s when you realized — tonight was the first time Kylian hadn’t told you how beautiful you looked. He always did, whether it was necessary or not. But tonight, not a word.

As if reading your thoughts, he finally mumbled, “You look beautiful, by the way.”

His voice was quiet, almost unsure. He looked like a scolded child, his arms crossed, his lips slightly pouting.

“Who did you go on a date with?” he finally asked, his curiosity winning out.

“Louis. The guy from the charity gala.”

Kylian sighed, nodding. “Didn’t you say you thought those guys were all pretentious?”

You shrugged. “Louis is different. I like him.”

Kylian didn’t say anything, and instead, he got up and walked to the kitchen. He returned with your favorite snacks and some cookies, his way of apologizing without words.

“What should we watch tonight?” he asked, changing the subject, setting the snacks on the coffee table.

You sighed, the weight of everything pressing down on you. “You pick. I’m going to change.”

As you made your way to his closet, you found the clothes you had left there. It was all so familiar, so normal, and yet so wrong. You hated how comfortable you were in his space, knowing it was never going to be more than friendship.

You had tried over the years to keep your distance from him, to prevent yourself from getting too close. But Kylian never allowed it. He always kept you close. No matter what phase of life either of you were going through, he made an extraordinary effort to stay in touch, to never let your friendship fade. He never stopped being your best friend.

After removing your makeup and changing into sweats, you began searching for the soft, fuzzy socks you were sure you’d left here. Your feet were freezing, and only those socks were warm enough to keep you comfortable.

You checked every drawer in his closet, but found nothing. Moving into his bedroom, you opened the first drawer — still nothing. When you got to the second one, you realized it held his personal belongings: old football posters, the laces from his childhood boots, and a pinky ring his grandfather had given him when he turned sixteen. As you were about to close the drawer, something colorful caught your eye. A folded piece of paper that you instantly recognized. Carefully, you took it out and opened it, feeling your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t believe he had kept it.

It was the birthday card you made for him almost 20 years ago, back when you first went to his celebration. The card was adorably imperfect, with “Happy Birthday Kylian” written in messy six year old handwriting, random hearts and butterflies scattered all over the paper. You had drawn a little boy and girl holding hands as the boy blew out birthday candles, a clumsy but heartfelt depiction of you and Kylian as children.

Holding it in your hands, memories flooded your mind. The card brought back so much; your childhood, the simplicity of your bond back then, and the way things had slowly become more complicated over the years. You hadn’t even realized it, but tears were streaming down your face. The fact that this card, something you’d forgotten about, had meant enough to him that he’d kept it for two decades, it overwhelmed you.

You carefully placed the card back, closing the drawer as if it held a piece of your heart. Then, you hurried to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face, trying to compose yourself. As you stared at your tear-streaked reflection, the realization hit you like a truck: you loved him more than you ever dared to admit, even to yourself. It wasn’t just a fleeting crush or the remnants of childhood affection. It was deeper, more profound, so overwhelming that it felt like your entire life had been shaped around Kylian, every choice you made somehow tied to him.

That silly little birthday card, with its messy hearts and clumsy drawings, had brought a flood of memories you hadn’t even realized you still held onto. It was more than just a card, it was a symbol of the bond you’d shared since you were children, a bond you had always cherished but never truly understood until now. And the fact that Kylian had kept it, hidden away with his most treasured belongings, meant something. You knew it did. But what? Was it just nostalgia for him, a reminder of simpler times? Or did it mean more? Did it mean he held onto you the way you held onto him — silently, helplessly, and maybe, just maybe, as something more than a friend?

You splashed more cold water on your face, willing the tears to stop, but they kept falling, silently, stubbornly. The weight of your emotions was too much, and it took everything in you to steady your breathing, to stop the sobs that threatened to spill over.

The truth was hard to face: you had tried for so long to keep your distance, to protect yourself from the inevitable heartache of loving someone who could never love you back. But Kylian never let you. He always kept you close, drawing you back in whenever you tried to pull away, as if he couldn’t bear to lose you either. And that only made it harder.

You wiped your face with a towel, the cold water calming your heated skin, but inside, your heart still raced. You were coming to terms with something that terrified you. The feelings you had for him, they weren’t going away. In fact, they seemed to grow stronger every day, no matter how hard you tried to suppress them.

Falling for someone else? That was going to be a monumental task. It wasn’t just about liking someone new; it was about unlearning Kylian. Unlearning the way his laugh made you feel like everything would be okay, unlearning the way his touch sent shivers down your spine. Unlearning the years of memories that were tied to him. And honestly, the thought of letting go of Kylian felt impossible. It scared you. It scared you because no matter who came into your life, Kylian was still the one. How could you fall for someone else when your heart had already chosen?

With a deep breath, you finally calmed yourself enough to leave the bathroom. You couldn’t let Kylian see you like this, not when you didn’t even have an explanation for why you were crying. And definitely not when you weren’t ready to confront these feelings, let alone share them. But even as you composed yourself, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted inside you. Something irreversible. You couldn’t hide from your emotions anymore. You loved him, and it was destroying you.

As you walked back to the living room, you saw Kylian still lounging on the couch, casually flipping through the channels, completely unaware of the emotional storm you had just weathered in his bathroom. His easy, carefree nature contrasted so painfully with the heaviness in your heart.

You grabbed your things quickly, not wanting to linger in the space where your feelings felt too raw, too exposed.

“Hey, are you okay? What took so long?” he asked, his brows furrowing with concern.

“I’m sorry, Kylian,” you managed to say, your voice shaky. “I have to go.”

His expression immediately shifted from casual concern to confusion. “What? What happened?”

You shook your head, avoiding his gaze. “I just… I need to go home.” Kylian stood up, clearly not understanding what had changed so suddenly. He reached out, as if to stop you, but then hesitated.

“Y/N, did I do something? If I upset you earlier—” You quickly shook your head. “No, Kylian, it’s not that. You didn’t do anything. I just need to go.” You kept your gaze fixed on the floor, afraid that if you looked at him, the tears would start again.

He stood there, silent, as you hurried to the door, your heart racing with each step. You could feel his eyes on you, the weight of his concern hanging heavy in the air. But you couldn’t explain, not now. Not when you didn’t even know how to make sense of it all yourself.

As you left, he offered to give you a ride, but you declined. He walked you to the door, watching as you climbed into the Uber. His gaze didn’t leave you until the car turned the corner.

That night, as you lay in bed, wide awake, the weight of your love for Kylian pressed down on you. It was suffocating. And no matter how hard you tried to move on, no one else would ever be him.

You wished, more than anything, that next time Cupid aimed his arrow, he’d hit you both.

[princesssmars]

concrete jungle with the devil.

some victoria neuman x reader headcanons.

part.ii of this

you’re beautiful, you’re talented, and you’re the secret girlfriend of a hot and potentially crazy congresswoman. what more could you ask for?

contains : fxf relationship. fluff. angst. manipulation, pretty toxic relationship because its the boys and its victoria, mentions of smut. readers hair and face not described.

wc : 2.415

a/n : started this when season two was airing. look at what an idiot i was.

you had forgotten how much walking was done in certain cities in the states, especially in the big apple. to be fair, you’d forgotten quite a few things.

you remembered things you had forgotten gradually after that night when you realized you were not only a supe, but a supe that had been unknowingly manipulating yourself with your apparent superpowers into forgetting parts of your life. would be a cool plot for a book if it wasn’t your entire life but, whatever.

after managing to think of the revelation without nearly having a panic attack and ���crazy high blood pressure’ as victoria so eloquently put it, you’d fallen into a kind of…ease?

in her ‘loving worry’ the woman had put you under her watchful eye, moving you into her home to prevent you from doing anything ‘drastic’ and helping you acclimate to your new state of living. she paid for your expensive hotel for another week before not subtly (and not asking) recommending you stay in her townhome.

and she’ll make sure you’re as comfortable as you can be the entire time. find the guest bed uncomfortable? her first offer is for you to just sleep with her, but she’ll settle for making sure you have a new mattress and comforter set. feeling sad over your rapid change in diet? a personal chef is hired to make you authentic parisian dishes to your hearts content.

it’s completely jarring how she has such a hold on your heart. you know a part of you can’t move on because of your powers, but every time you try to remind yourself of how weird your situation is you’re roped right back in when she comes home from work and tells you how she was thinking of you all day, giving you physical affection when you seem open to it by pressing a sweet kiss to the side of your head.

as childish as it is, a small part of you wishes you had an actual label for your relationship. ‘woman who wooed me then flew me across the globe to accomplish my dream and then revealed she wants to take advantage of my unexplored power’ was more than a mouthful. even ‘partner’ would be preferable.

it’s amplified by the fact that you aren’t really in a relationship.

you’ve slept together, something you embarrassingly think about often at night when your hand trails beneath the soft satin pajama set she had gifted you. at the end of the day you do have needs, and having your sexual world rocked only to have to (reasonably) avoid the perpetrator as best as you can is all too confusing to process.

not to mention that she still treats you sweetly and romantically when in private, fingers brushing over your arms and pet names whenever she sees you in a room of her house, but outside and in public her career calls for…propriety? and a relationship with another woman in your career would hurt her numbers apparently. at least that's what her publicist said. she didn't seem very bright yo you, but victoria was throwing hundreds at her to support her campaign.

and oh yeah, she decides to tell you randomly on a thrusday night in while making dinner with her daughter that she actually is talking with another politician about running for president and vice president. zoe had to help you when you nearly choked on your pasta.

you hadn't delved too deep into politics when over in paris, only googling the basics about small party leaders who'd show up to bars and would likely engage in small talk over a few drinks. the first time you even learned about vic's profession you already heard alarm bells in your head, but president? seriously?

she tried to reassure you about it, listing off all the benefits it would bring to her family - which now apparently includes you. a better government position meant a better quality of living, moving into the secure grounds of number one observatory circle with access to the government's protection, connections, and loads of money. you and zoe both perked up at that. you looked at the girl curiously and she shrugged her shoulders, admitting later that she would like to be able to travel to more places farther than the met.

unsurprisingly, you grow closer to zoe. you aren’t given many opportunities to make a lot of friends, and the only adult conversations you get are your friends back in pairs over the phone and victoria along with her campaign help. at first you helped her a little with her homework, even if the curriculum for her private school was leagues above what you learned in your little low-budget middle school. eventually, you start to just talk about shared interests, and you're pleasantly surprised to find out the girl is musically gifted. its sweet to see that vic set up a corner of her office for the girl to practice her talents, and whenever she offers you listen to her play a piece on her cello.

you never bring it up, but one time victoria stopped at the house for a long lunch once and overheard the two of you talking about a piece you both loved before zoe practiced it on her instrument. she stood out of sight in the doorway for a minute and just observed. as soon as you noticed her presence she was gone.

when things start looking up in the polls vic starts to show a little leniency with letting you have an actual life. of course she uses some backdoor connections to get you a boost in your career, and you find a great deal of peace in being able to perform to your hearts content. it only helps that the atmosphere of entertainment in new york is alive and bursting, you meet so many fellow musicians and singers.

slowly but surely you start to fall for the city. sure it can be dirty and smell weird and have heaps of garbage everywhere, but just like with paris you’re able to find the hidden jems that lurk just below the surface.

and after some pestering whenever the two of you manage to be in a room alone together for more than a few minutes, victoria finally starts to explain to you…well, you.

you’d always gotten a bad feeling by vought, never liked the way they profited off of the supers and marketed them to certain countries and people. finding out that they made you the ‘way you are’ . apparently, both you and vic’s parents thought letting a company shoot some super drug into their children would a smart idea, that you’d both go on to do something great.

“well, i guess you are kind of great, in a sense. smart enough to become a politician, raise a good kid. are they proud of you?”

she only gave you a dry chuckle as she took a sip of her dark wine.

“yeah, yeah they’re really proud.”

as much as you start to try, you cant get in to her head. you’ve been thrust into the middle of her life and routine and there’s still so many things about her you don’t know. hell, you don’t even know what her power really is still. you can tell she wants to let you in some, either for her own feelings or because she wants to help you explore your supercharged feelings for her to understand more about your abilities.

but just like when you talked about vought, as soon as she’s about to open up you see that look, one of a fear you’d never quite seen before flash in her eyes before she quickly dismisses you.

so you decide to tale a.. drastic measure to get some things out of her.

you had been exploring your power a bit in your new daily life, just little things that didn’t make too much of a difference or affect anyone too greatly. a simple request for the customer ahead of you to apologize to a barista they’d needlessly ridiculed, innocently asking a rushing passerby to give you directions to a cafe you had just been dying to try. it took a few weeks to get the hang of it, the fact that it apparently worked best when you were singing and the toll it could take on your body, but the dizziness fades eventually.

it’s a rare night where the two of you are in the house alone together and you decide to celebrate your recent well-perceived performance by opening up a bottle of bubbly and sitting on the couch, dressed in some maybe too revealing pajamas and waiting for her to inevitably join you once she finishes settling in from a long day at the campaign office.

she joins you and clink s her glass to yours, rolling her eyes into your drink when you immediately ask her a question about all of her plans.

“its gonna take more than some expensive champagne and you looking like that for me to crack, but nice try sweetheart.”

“oh yeah?” your finger teases the rim of your glass, eyes trained on her movements.

“yeah. let’s stick to the basic questions for now.”

you hum a short tune to yourself and take another sip of your drink. “okay. you should tell me what you had for lunch today.”

“patricia picked me up a ceasar salad today. it had too many croutons, a really absurd amount. sat confused for a few seconds.”

her eyes scrunch up slightly and flick to yours. you take her silence as a sign to keep going.

“i never really get to talk to your assistant. she told me once her name was morticia.”

she laughs and sets her glass on the coffee table, “think she might’ve been intimidated by you. she can be a real tightass but she’s a hardworker, believes in my campaign and message and all that shit.”

“dont try to skirt past that, tell me why she’s intimidated by me.”

her eye twitches, clearly annoyed by what you’re doing and not used to someone having this kind of control over her. but each time you do it you notice the way her hand clenches on the cushion of the sofa, how her tongue darts out to quickly lick over her bare lips.

“she wants me, checks me out sometimes when we’r ein the office. but the reason i hired her is that she’s incredibly observant, and she’s probably picked up that the two of us have a weird thing going on.”

your eyes slightly scrunch together. “what do you mean by ‘weird thing’ ?”

clearly your aggravation at how she decided to describe...admittedly whatever this weird thing between the two of you was, its enough for your concentration to slip and allow her to get out of the concentrated hold you had on her mind. in only a few seconds she’s pinning your body down to the couch, your wrists held down by her hands and your drink falling to the floor with a loud shatter.

‘ugh! vic, what the hell-” you struggle to get out of her grip, thrashing your arms and trying to kick up your legs that are trapped under her thighs. you apparently greatly underestimated how strong she is.

“that’s it baby, get angry, let it all out.” she has a fascinated smile on her face that does nothing to quell your frustration, only giving you the desire to get right back to messing with her anyway how.

“tell me why you’re doing this to me!”

“i like watching you under me, plus i like having control over you. definitely don’t want you turning the tables on me again.”

you notice that when you command her to explain her voice takes on this fast tone, like she’s rushing to answer you as soon as you finish speaking.

“you think i’ve dont you what you’ve done to me?”

“isn’t it fucking obvious? you just forced me to tell you something i wasn’t supposed to mention. i have to keep sharing things with you, you make me want to share things with you. you’re controlling me and you don’t even know it.”

“why don’t you want me to control you?”

“because i’ve been controlled before. its horrifying. you could be horrifying. because it’s not part of the plan. none of this is. god, you were supposed to be gone by now but i just can’t…i don’t-”

both of you’re eyes are wide when her speech starts to slip, fighting against the control to keep telling you what she’s hiding. her head jerks and you feel a rush of hot liquid rush down your face, your hand miraculously free to let you feel the blood pouring out of your nose. you look back at her and she’s scrambled to the other end of the couch, eyes trained ahead of her as she gets herself out of the daze.

abruptly she stands up, swiping off any leftover unease and starting her trek towards the stairs as you wipe off the now slow moving trail of fluid trailing from your nose.

as soon as she reaches the first step you call out to her, blood dripping into your mouth as your voice takes on a bittersweet and melodic sound.

“how do you feel about me, victoria?”

her manicured hand clenches around the wood bannister so hard you fear it’ll snap.

“you’re powerful. you’re useful and you’re terrifying.”

tears prick at your lashline as you swipe at more of the red covering your mouth. her head turns to meet your blurry gaze.

“i think i’m in love with you.”

you zone out to the sound of her footsteps rushing up the stairs and the light-headness from exertion.

you had forgotten what one one of the worst things about being in a city was. how despite being surrounded by thousands of people and hundreds of lives, inevitably came those times where you were alone as a person could be.

[cosmique-oddity]

Hey TF Tumblr, I had a thought

Especially for @keferon 's Mech AU enjoyers

Since Blurr is not in perfect shape right now I had this idea that Swindle would want to engage another goose that lays the golden eggs. Maybe a pretty character, or a rich one.....

And

And seriously i hope you know where i want this to go.

I thought about Mech AU! Mirage.

I had this idea he was a fighter pilot, suprem honor for someone from a rich family, and was more or less kept from being killed, even if he was absolutely skilled, being so good at his job, and so furtive...no one ever saw him arriving. Everyone wanted to have him with them on mission (for his skills....not socials one).

(A plane pilot because the fact that Mirage 2000 is the name of one of the most efficient French army plane always made me headcanon his human version as a wealthy Parisian Imao) (also I would love to see a Plane!Mirage redesign one dah somewhere)

But idk eventually one day, a scientist (Brainstorm? Its always Brainstorm) discovered a color or a material, or a radiation Kaijus can't see. And maybe had the idea of incorporating in a mech. But it only works if the pilot is totally silent.... If he doesn't make any sound.

Also i went insane with this idea and my pencil drew on its own will.

[myfairstarlight]

An Ode to Friends to Lovers - Colin and Penelope's story

Fine, I give in.

As someone who considers themself more of a casual viewer (as in, I've never engaged in the fandom before), I went into this new season with mild interest. And then I fell down the rabbit hole. I should have suspected it though, Friends to Lovers is a trope I affectionate particularly when it comes to romance, unfortunately one I very rarely think is done well. So I was still skeptical going in.

But by God, did they deliver on that front and I need to break it down and talk about it. So I guess this is my review of Bridgerton s3, part 1.

Under the cut though, because this is gonna be a long one (seriously, this is a warning).

I don't particularly think Bridgerton is a complex show, and one can argue all day about whether it is even good (in my eyes, as long as it's entertaining, I don't care if a show is "good"), however, the number of takes I've seen online not understanding basic story-telling worries me a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I agree this first half has pacing issues but I do not think Penelope's and Colin's love story suffered that much, it did not feel rushed to me since we already knew these characters for two whole seasons (and I maintain Colin has always had more depths than what people pretend he does, it seems like, just like the ton, viewers like to overlook him and just characterise him as naive).

And I guess this long ass post was born in the process. So:

Part One: Penelope's glow up

Yes I'm starting by looking at them individually first. I think this post on reddit sums it up so perfectly. I get we're all joking about how unrealistic it is that no man was ever interested in Penelope despite how she looks like an absolute goddess (and I maintain she was the cutest in both previous seasons as well!) - unfortunately it is realistic. That's the reality of bullying, it doesn't get solved by a glow up. Even her association with the Bridgertons through Eloise and Colin did not lessen the bullying, so without them? Even the prettiest dresses would not have changed the ton's perception of her, and she's still the awkward, anxious girl she's always been, and unfortunately, most of these men are not attracted to that. It's not satisfying, she doesn't get her triumphant revenge on a society that always ostracised her - and I think it's important that she does not. That she accepts it. She should not have to change for a ton that will not change for the better either. And it's a lesson she learns quickly - someone will love her for who she is, pretending will only lead to misery. And, it is when she's being herself that she successfully gets the interest of some gentlemen (shout out to Lord Remington! I was so hoping we would be seeing more of him on top of Debling. He's such a Whistledown fan I thought that even after the whole lesson reveal scandal he would have stuck to call on Penelope the next day to gossip together, it would have been cute but I guess he too wanted to avoid being written about) (also I'm just saying in fics he should be the one considered as a proper other suitor for Pen since they seemed to have a genuine connection, meanwhile Debling was really searching for practicality).

The thing I wanna add to that post is this: despite all that, she decided to change her looks for herself. When I first learned of the plot of this season, Colin helping her find a husband, I was scared it would mean Colin would be the one to tell her to have a makeover. It doesn't happen. Sure, Penelope subconsciously requests for a more Parisian style for her new dresses because it is the last place Colin went to, but by that point she has already given up on him. She wants something new, and to feel good in herself. That's how she blooms, by finding a style that she feels comfortable in, finally free from her mother's horrendous tastes. That's what allows her to be more confident as well, the new looks and her motivation to move on from her "unrequited fantasy". As for Colin? He never comments on her change, he compliments her dress (and mind you, that is when he's trying to play up the charm because he knows she's upset with him and he gets humbled, hard) but he never says it looks better on her than what she wore before, he never has a "I never realised how beautiful you were" moment we see a bit too often in friends to lovers stories, because to him she's still his Pen, new dresses, new hairstyles, but the same Pen he's always loved, even if he didn't realise to what extent yet.

But Penelope's confidence... is not quite there yet. Difficult to be, when she's grown up in a loveless home, with horrible sisters, a father who barely cared and a mother who constantly puts her down. Whenever she gets a compliment, her first reaction is "ah, it must be a joke" - that isn't even exclusive to Colin, in the brief interaction between Edwina and Penelope, when Edwina compliments her dress, Penelope also dismisses it. And then, there's Colin, who is always oh so honest with her and does not shy away from praising her. But I'll touch more on that later.

Part Two: Colin's new self.

And then we have the opposite: Colin showing up with a new attitude, and succeeding at it (well, on the surface). Something I haven't seen people bring up a lot though is that he's already tried a new look in s2, and he got mocked for it. The only one who didn't? Penelope. Why didn't he try to emulate being a rake back then? Because Penelope's letters grounded him, he admits it himself. It's seeing himself through Penelope's letters that gave him confidence. But that kind of confidence was not enough in the ton's eyes, and on top of that, between s2 and s3, this time Penelope doesn't write back, and neither do his family. He grows insecure, he's lost the one person who kept him grounded, he thinks his family is annoyed with him, and he still is in search of a purpose, so what does he do? He clings to Anthony's words in s1 after the disaster that was his engagement with Marina: he's too green, time to "fix" that and be more like his big brothers. They got it together, they know their purpose (well, Benedict lost his again but that's a story for another day), so surely, if he acts more like them, and not like the sensitive and naive boy he was, then surely everything will be alright! Right? Note that as opposed to s2, where he kept talking about his travels and it annoyed everyone, in s3 he doesn't go into details about them anymore, even when he's asked. They're only interested in the company he kept during the travels rather than the sights he saw. And honestly, it was heartbreaking to see right away how much of himself he was holding back, even with his own family. Penelope, however, gets the details without even asking because he already knows she likes hearing him talk about them and she makes him comfortable, and he's fully aware of that when he apologises in s3e1.

(I also want to note that, even if this new persona is fake, his new style genuinely fits him better. Just like Penelope, this season Colin found the style that makes him feel good and confident.)

And here's where I need to praise Luke's acting for a bit, because he absolutely nailed the subtle way Colin behaves differently with Penelope vs everyone else. His voice is softer, he is effortlessly charming (I was kicking my feet when he recalled how they met), his smile is bigger, even his whole face looks more relaxed whenever Penelope is around, meanwhile he always appears stiff and like he's calculating his every move when around his "friends". In fact, it is in the carriage scene we finally truly see s1&2's Colin back. When he has that look on his face, as he decides right there and then he's gonna marry her, and then a second later when he asks the question, his face. By God, his eyes are sparkling, he's so happy, and he looks as youthful and carefree as he did in previous seasons, far are the thoughts of trying to fit in a society that he hates.

Because above all, these two know and understand each other in a way no one else in their lives does. And that is a fact that remains despite the outward changes. So yes, I liked that their dynamic did not shift to romance because of their "glow ups", but because they are spending even more time together now. Speaking of which:

Part Three: Authenticity and Vulnerability

One big theme this season is being true to oneself. It's no coincidence mirrors are such a big part of it (even outside of the yet to be seen spicy scene), because looking at a mirror means looking at oneself, and be vulnerable. If s2 was about duty vs heart, eldest siblings trying to do right by their family to the point of self-sabotage, s3 is a battle between the head and the heart. It is not even exclusive to Polin - Eloise is learning and growing by trying to take genuine part in society but struggling to fit in. Cressida wants to become a better person, torn between the pressure put on her shoulders by her parents and this new friendship with Eloise. Benedict is looking for his purpose after learning Anthony paid his way to art school, and feeling like a fraud as an artist. Anthony and Kate are unashamedly in love, as they deserve to be after the struggles they went through last season. Francesca has no care for the suitors the Queen and her mother parade in front of her as the "sparkler" of the season (sidenote but I hated that, stupid name, should have stuck to diamond or select another gem) as her heart seeks out the handsome and quiet John Sterling instead. And this will continue in part 2, as Penelope will have to be honest about Lady Whistledown (because she's always her most authentic self around Colin, there is still this big secret she is so determined to keep to herself, when she should not).

The beauty about friends to lovers stories to me is the small declarations of love sprinkled throughout the relationship. It's about the trust already built in with no expectations and the vulnerability we'd never allow anyone but our closest friends to see, something even our family can be ignorant to. I mentioned earlier that Colin never shies away from praising Penelope, way before their dynamic shifts to lovers. He tells her she's good, constant, loyal, special, warm. All of these are declarations of love, even if not with romantic intent, it's about showing his appreciation for her, for the role she holds in his life. And Penelope responds in kind as well. That is why I believe people who think the romance was rushed in s3 either did not watch the past two seasons or see friendship and romantic love as two distinct things rather than a cohesive continuation of each other. In s1, people focus so much on the Marina stuff, as if that cancels out Colin's friendship with Penelope. We still do see Colin actively seek out Penelope at balls, and defending her against Cressida, he compliments her and tells her she's the one who inspired him to travel. Then s2 rolls in, and they're exchanging letters, which will become the cataclysm for their dynamic changing later on. And then there's one of my favourite scenes with them: them talking about their purpose. They both open up here, Colin about his insecurity, Penelope about her dream, it is so intimate. And then, there's of course Colin protecting the Featheringtons from ruins. I'm mostly emphasising Colin's actions, because Penelope's crush on him was always in your face, and while Colin may not have realised it yet, he's always cared about Penelope in a special way, as manifested by his actions and how vulnerable he allows himself to be around her, when even his own family has no idea about what's going on inside his head.

There's a misconception that Colin calling her his friend was him rejecting her, and yet we see in s3 he had no idea whatsoever that she has a crush on him, so he could not lead her on (unlike his book counterpart, who was aware of Penelope's infatuation and was careful never to toe the line until he realised his feelings. Show Colin though? Completely oblivious. And it makes sense, he's still young.) He asks Violet "how do you know it was reciprocated" and not "how do you know you're in love with your best friend". As of right now at the end of part 1, he genuinely thinks he's the one who fell in love first, or at least realised it first. His "You're Pen, you do not count, you're my friend" in s2, was not a rejection in his eyes, but a declaration of love; he's forsaken love and women but not his Penelope, never her, she's his exception And it's not like Penelope resented him for that friendship he so readily gave her, yes she had a crush, but she was proud to call him her friend! He was, with Eloise, her solace away from her family. At the end of the day, this is a friends to lovers story, it is silly to get upset that they considered themselves friends first before there is a click as they realise they are now on the same page to shift their relationship.

Side note but I've never liked the term "friendzoned" because it makes it sound like being friends is a bad thing. I've had unrequited feelings before but I've always felt grateful that being friends with them allowed me to stay close to them even if I knew nothing else could happen. I was still very much happy and content. But maybe I'm projecting on Penelope and that's another debate.

See, what I ended up loving about the lesson plot, which I was so wary of at first, is that Colin barely teaches Penelope anything. At first, he goes for the "do what society expects women to do" (since it worked for him) but then she acts awkwardly, she can't fake it, and it surprises him for a moment. That's when it clicks for him, she just needs to be comfortable because with him, she's always smart, witty and charming, she's herself. He's always seen her that way, and he did not quite realise he had that privilege in the first place. And I love how we see him slowly realise it is no longer a privilege thanks to his help. We see it in e2. When she talks to the guy with the dead horse (forgot his name, oops), Penelope forces the flirt and Colin is amused by it. Fast forward Penelope approaching Lord Remington by herself, without Colin's initiative, and she's being more authentic, and suddenly Jealous by Nick Jonas plays in the background and Colin doesn't look proud, but apprehensive, or dare I say jealous. The shift in Colin's head happens long before Debling is in the picture. I'd argue it already shifted earlier in that episode, in his study, which he flashbacks to in e4.

His journals detail how unfulfilled he feels when he lays with random women in his travels. He longs for emotional intimacy. And guess with who he finally finds that, when a certain red-head asks the one question that allows them to break the physical barrier they had to keep between them for the sake of propriety?

Ah yes, that first kiss. To Colin, everything has been building up to this, this is his true Oh moment. A favour turned into a revelation. For Penelope, this is quite literally the end of her fantasies. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment. She bares her heart, she's sad, she's desperate. And some people have been calling that moment pathetic, interpreting it as her being weak and giving in to her crush again, saying that she should not have to beg for that man's affection. I concur that she is brave, and bold. I also concur that some of you all are a bit too attached to the girlboss archetype forgetting that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is also a strength. She's never had to beg for Colin's attention anyway because he readily gives it to her, but in this one instance, for once in her life, she is truly being honest. In her head, she has nothing else to lose, and she wants to experience the one thing she thinks she can never have so of course she's gonna turn to the one person she's always trusted and feels the most comfortable with, because before her crush, Colin is her friend. She's asking a favour from a friend. And then she can move on, whatever "moving on" will turn out to be. In this instance, she has the power in her hands.

And it is her bravery that is the true cataclysm for things to change properly. Of course, things have already started to change the moment she stopped replying to the letters, but that moment really expedited their relationship.

Part Four: Lovers, but in a best friends way

The thing with Bridgerton, in the books or in the show, is that each couple has their trope. This is not news to anyone, I think. We've had fake dating, and enemies to lovers, and one characteristic that these two tropes share is a growing tension between the characters before it snaps. There is a reason the early marketing for s3 focused on Penelope being cold towards Colin, tension and conflict are more appealing on the surface. And then the first half of the season comes out and that conflict between our main couple? Solved after one episode because they did one thing that is severely missing in most romance dramas: communicated healthily. Penelope laid out why she was upset (although she does not stay to let Colin explain and then vents out her feelings in Whistledown... she still has some learning to do), Colin immediately went to apologise and make up for it. All of this by talking. And yet I'd argue friends to lovers still has its own tension, just not to the same intensity as the other two, and more difficult to market. The tension comes from the brewing feelings, the way you start seeing every touch, every interaction, in a whole new light, and wondering if it's only in your head or if it's reciprocated. But now combine that with Colin who's always been so earnest about his feelings with Penelope? And Penelope who's always quietly wanted their relationship to evolve that way? Of course they figured it out quickly and got together in half a season. And I'm delighted that we will see them handle the whole Whistledown mess as a couple, as two people aware they love each other deeply, which gives a whole new meaning to the conflict compared to the book where I felt like it was brushed over a bit too quickly (because they got distracted in that carriage). It is the last secret between them, their last obstacle.

I also do not like the "Colin should have grovelled and pined more" argument, when he is the one who insisted on the lessons to help her find a husband in the first place, and then has to face the fact that actually, he doesn't like the idea of another man taking Penelope away, and oh, isn't that the consequences of his own actions? He is grovelling, you just don't see Penelope holding it over his head, because that's not the person she is, this is not a revenge fantasy story, in fact she does not realise the power she has on him because she is used to Colin seeking her out. I like that he didn't stew on his feelings and decided to act on them right away. I also don't like how this whole grovelling thing makes it sound like love is a competition, that just because Penelope has known she's been in love for longer and "suffered" longer, that means Colin needs to do the same to even the planes. Because in my eyes love isn't exactly something to be earned — it is given. Now, are you worthy to keep it? To nurture it and make it bloom and last? That is the real question.

Admittedly, since this is only the first half of the season, we do not see them in a romantic setting a lot. That first half is focused on them rekindling their friendship lost during the summer when Penelope stopped responding to the letters, and Colin having the realisation he cannot live without his best friend, not just because she is his best friend, but also because he loves her. But we do have two important, and obvious instances.

So let's talk about that first kiss again. It is, in my opinion, one of the most gentle and romantic moments in the show so far and also showcased their friendship really well. Colin trying to joke to lighten the mood as Penelope spirals down (peak best friend behaviour actually), the gentle, swelling music, the light of the moon, Colin's deep exhale of realisation as he holds her face when he goes back in for the second kiss, with the furrowed brows of a man on a mission. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment and Colin's big realisation. And I felt like I was intruding.

And same goes for that carriage scene, but even before they go at it; now this is Colin's most vulnerable moment, and Penelope's realisation that they can be more. He chases the carriage by foot, then goes on his knees to confess his feelings to his best friend in the softest and most determined voice we've ever heard him use this whole season, eyes wide, tears threatening to fall as it is his turn to bare his heart and ask for a chance. Meanwhile Penelope takes it all in, running her hand through his hair because she can finally touch him, melting under him. Things get steamy. And then... and then... The carriage stops, they get startled, Colin jokes that the driver should have kept on driving and then... they laugh. They just made out, and went to second base together, and yet here they are now, laughing. It is such a genuine and lovely moment. And it's then that Colin has that look in his eyes, that "I'm gonna marry her" look. That is when he realises he cannot live his life without her. That his purpose is now right in front of him: making Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, laugh until the end of their lives.

Conclusion

There's no conclusion, I just love them so dearly. Yes, there still is the whole Whistledown mess to deal with and sure, the argument with Eloise may make you think great angst is ahead but if there is one big difference between Colin and Eloise, it is this: Colin has always listened to Penelope, and this is not a diss on Eloise. Eloise, bless her heart, can be pretty self-centred, she's loud and a bit immature, something she is growing from in s3, and you cannot ignore that she did not really listen to Penelope (she has no idea Penelope wishes to marry when Penelope tells her she does in s1, we can blame the writing, but I do think it fits with Eloise's journey to realising how privileged and dismissive she is. Penelope was too polite to call her out until their falling out. Meanwhile Cressida is exactly the type of honesty she needs for a wake up call). Colin, on the other hand, is very sensitive and a good listener. Furthermore, this season, Penelope is learning to be more confident, to voice what she wants, and I like to think it is leading to her finding her own voice and not needing Whistledown to hide behind anymore. If there's someone with whom she has no filters, it is Colin, so I have faith that when the reveal happens and an argument breaks out, this new Penelope will not back down and will lay out all her reasons and all her regrets, and Colin may be stubborn, but he loves that woman and he always listens.

A part of me also wishes they keep the jealousy he felt about her writing in the book, and that they don't focus just on the whole "you lied to me" aspect (we've already had that with Eloise). How he, himself, is insecure about his writing, and here Penelope is, less fortunate than he is, and yet who did have the courage to get her writing out there, even if publishing under another name. Because that is also a reality in relationships, when your partner is at a different stage in their career, and how they can communicate to support one another.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now (as if that isn't what I've been doing this whole time). I like them. A little. Just a bit. I'm very normal about them <3

[heavenlytouches]

Hugh Jackman- birthday surprise

𓇼˚₊‧꒰ა

GN reader

<3 (SFW)

TW- none

You surprised Hugh for his birthday! :D

Cuteness overload TwT

Hugh Jackman

You step into the luxurious atmosphere of Le Lumière, the restaurant that sparkles like the stars suspended above the Parisian skyline.

It’s October 12th, a date that holds an especially bright place in your heart because it’s the birthday of none other than Hugh Jackman.

The soft golden glow of candlelight flickers against the crisp white tablecloths, creating an intimate setting that seems to wrap around you both like a warm hug.

You've put in a lot of effort for this surprise, drawing inspiration from everything you know about him- the simple things that bring him joy, the little moments he cherishes.

The restaurant is adorned with his favorite flowers, milky white roses, adding a touch of elegance to the warmth of your meticulously planned evening. As you wait for him to arrive, your heart flutters with nervous excitement. What will his reaction be? You’ve invited Ryan, Blake and a few close friends, but it’s the gentle atmosphere of intimacy that you hope will make this moment special.

Suddenly, the door swings open, and there he is- Hugh, looking dashing as ever in a tailored navy suit that accentuates his tall frame and sculpted features.

His hair, slightly tousled, provides a hint of boyish charm, and his smile radiates warmth that could melt glaciers.

“Surprise!”

You exclaim, the words bursting out of you like confetti.

Hugh's eyes widen, momentarily speechless. Then, that signature grin breaks out, lighting up the entire room as he steps inside.

“You did all this?”

He asks, clearly overwhelmed, an emotional sparkle wavering in his hazel eyes, as they dance from the ornately set table to the familiar faces of friends gathered in the corner.

“I wanted to do something special for your big day..”

You reply, feeling the warmth spread through your body as you step closer to him. You take his hands in yours, feeling the strength in his grip.

“You mean so much to me.”

Hugh blinks back a few unshed tears, keeping his emotions in check like the true “real man” he is, but the twinkle in his eyes betrays his joy.

“I can’t believe you went through all this trouble. You know, it’s my 56th birthday, and yet here I am feeling like a kid on Christmas morning.”

His admission makes your heart swell with happiness. You can’t help but smile.

"You deserve it, Hugh. You’ve given so much to the world- now it’s your turn to feel the love.”

The evening unfolds like a blissful dream. Laughter and delectable food flow effortlessly as the guests mingle and enjoy the festive spirit. A renowned pianist begins to play romantic melodies, filling the air with a beautiful soundtrack to the moments you’ll both cherish forever.

As the main course ends, you glance over at Hugh, who is engaged in animated conversation with Ryan across the table. When your eyes meet, he shoots you a wink that ignites your heart, and for a split second, the world around you fades, drawing you in. It’s a moment you wish to bottle and save forever.

“Okay, everyone, it’s time for cake!”

You declare, ushering out a sparkling dessert that stands proudly, adorned with candles flickering in a soft breeze.

“Make a wish, Hugh!”

He closes his eyes, the light dancing across his handsome face as he takes a deep breath. You focus on the way his brows furrow slightly in concentration, the lightheartedness of the moment juxtaposed against the weight of the years he’s seen.

“Alright!”

He finally says, and with a swift blow, the candles flicker out.

The room erupts in cheers, and Hugh beams at you, the happiness glimmering like starlight in his eyes.

“Now, what do I wish for?”

He muses, leaning ever so slightly closer.

“Maybe for the ability to find my way into your heart...”

Your breath hitches as you feel the weight of both the words and the warmth nestled between your parted bodies.

“Hugh,” You say softly, emotion bubbling up within you.

“You’ve always had a way inside my heart.”

He chuckles softly, the sound rumbling low like distant thunder during the sweetest summer rain.

“Alright then, that’s one wish down.”

He raises his glass, a playful glint in his eye.

“To love- and to every birthday we get to celebrate together. To us, to me, you and all these wonderful people here!”

You all clink glasses, feeling the magic of the moment surround you like a gentle wave.

And just like that, you both know that age is merely a number, that the connection you share transcends the years and circumstances. Time doesn’t matter when it’s filled with laughter, emotion, and the authentic warmth of true attraction.

As he leans in closer to your side, you feel the soft brush of his shoulder against yours, a simple yet profound reminder that you are both living a beautiful story- together, right here, within the comforting embrace of love.

Yaaaaaay happy (late) birthday to Hugh Jackman <33 I adore this one, not even kidding TwT

Kinda proud of myself ngl

Don’t forget, requests are always open and I can write for any character you’d like!

I love you guys so much <33

El <3

(all images were made by: El via canva & paint)

[tessa-liam]

Chance of a Lifetime

Chance of a Lifetime 

Thank you @kyra75 for your ask -- prompt #2, Rainy/Snow Day for @choicesprompts -- Flufftober event! 

Choices Book: The Royal Romance, Book 2 -- timeline/the engagement tour in Paris 

Pairing:               Liam Rys x Riley Brooks (F!MC) 

Rating:                mature 

Category:           fluff, one-shot, ask/prompt 

Words:                 2.4K, with sprinkles of Canon

A/N1: not Beta'd, please excuse all errors. 

AN2: my submission for@choicesmonthlychallenge Prompts: pets/holding hands/laughter 

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Stretching her arms over her head, Riley slowly opened one eye as she heard the familiar knock on her cabin door. The morning sun shone through the train window and across her bed. She softly smiled and swung her legs over the side, her feet touching the cool floor. She yawned and walked over to the door, pulling it open. 

"Rise and shine, queen-to-be!" Maxwell Beaumont was his usual jubilant self. "Did you sleep well, little blossom? I brought you some breakfast!" 

The rich aroma of medium roast coffee hit her senses while Chance jumped up excitedly at the smell of pancakes and bacon. ‘Arf ... Arf ...’ 

“Ah, yes. My entrance is welcomed by the corgi choir." 

"That smells amazing. Thank you soooo much, Max." 

"You are very welcome, Your Majesty," Maxwell winked, giving a little bow and grinning at her. "You'd better hurry and get ready." 

The Royal court was in Paris, France; today's event ... the Royal tea party.

Riley took the tray from Maxwell, and Chance sat at her feet. "Good morning, little pup," Maxwell cooed, as Chance happily accepted a pet and scratch behind his ears. 

"So, are you ready for afternoon tea with the former queen?" Maxwell asked. 

"Yeah, I guess. She's not exactly my favorite person, but... I'm still curious." 

"She's a formidable woman," Maxwell shuddered. 

"But on the bright side, this could be the perfect opportunity to corner her about her involvement with the scandal and get your answers!" 

"I hope you're right," Riley sighed, slipping Chance a small piece of bacon.  

"At a public event, she'll be caught off guard! She won't be able to run off or dodge you."  Max added.

"And if she's not forthcoming, we might be able to do a little digging with the other nobles at the tea party." 

"That's the spirit!" Maxwell grinned. "If you ever need a little extra confidence, you know who to call." 

"Yes. Thank you for everything, Max." 

"Of course. But first, get ready for the day! We don't want to be late!" 

‘Arf!’ Chance barked, agreeing with him. 

"Can Chance come?" Riley wondered aloud. 

"I wish he could, but the venue doesn't allow pets. I'll bring him along to the duchy later, though." 

"Okay, that's good, thanks, Max." 

"Now, go and get ready. Don't worry about a thing. I've got the corgis covered. See you at the tea party!" Maxwell gave Riley a mock salute before he closed her door behind him. 

After finishing her breakfast and a quick shower, Riley pulled out a gorgeous light blush dress with a delicate floral print. She applied her makeup, dried her hair, then snapped a gold barrette into place. 

She stepped out of the train and went into the waiting limousine. After a short drive, Riley arrived at the extravagant tea party at an uptown Parisian hotel. It was a beautiful spring day, and the hotel was decorated with the finest flower arrangements. 

Riley entered the formal tearoom; hearing soft, elegant music and people's chatter. The room was decorated with luxurious chandeliers and intricate floral arrangements. Tables were covered with fine linen tablecloths, and chairs were upholstered in plush velvet. A small orchestra was playing softly in the corner, and servers were carrying trays laden with exquisite tea sets and delicious-looking cakes. Riley recognized a few ladies and gentlemen from the court, but everyone else was a mystery. 

She spotted Madeleine and Hana chatting at the far end of the hall. As she approached, Madeleine spotted her and quickly ended the conversation with Hana. 

"Lady Riley, its good of you to join us."  

"This is lovely; I am drowning in ruffles," Riley quipped. 

"I'm afraid that's one of the finer points of an elegant event like this one. To be honest, I wouldn't expect you to appreciate it lady Riley, so don't strain yourself." 

"Oh, we wouldn't want that, would we?" Riley countered, rolling her eyes. 

"Well, do try to enjoy yourself." Madeleine sauntered off before Riley could say anything else. 

"Wow. That was... nice." Riley responded sarcastically under her breath. Stepping to the side, trying to read the place cards, she bumped into someone. 

"Well, hello. What a pleasure to see you here, Lady Riley. You look stunning, as always." Liam smiled, expressing tenderness as he kissed her cheek.

"Liam! Thank you. It's great to see you, too! I didn't think you'd be here." 

"My schedule's been quite busy lately. I am only here to make the opening remarks. I was actually hoping to spend some time with you after this event." 

"That would be wonderful." Riley answered, delightedly. 

"It's been too long. I'd love to hear how you're doing." 

"Liam, ...wishing I could kiss you right now." 

"Lady ... Riley you shouldn't say such things." Liam murmered as he looked at her hungrily, his eyes sweeping over her face. 

"Maybe I'm hoping you'll get a little reckless."  Riley whispered.

“Maxwell mentioned that you recently adopted a puppy.” 

Riley’s eyes lit up, a smile tugging at her lips. 

"Oh, yeah, his name is Chance. He's a little ball of orange and white fluff. He was lost when Maxwell found him.” 

"That sounds wonderful. I'm glad you're enjoying his company." 

"He's a really good boy. He's so friendly and happy. He loves to play, and he's really good at fetching." 

"I can't wait to meet him. Maybe I'll even steal him from you," Liam teased. 

"You can try, but I'm pretty sure he'd choose me," Riley shot back, her eyes sparkling with mirth. 

"I would love to meet him sometime. In fact, we could spend the afternoon together at the park."  

"That sounds lovely." 

Noticing dignitaries walking towards them, behind Riley, Liam sighs regrettedly,

"I fear our time alone is coming to an end ... I better greet these guests. But, please wait for me. I don't want to delay any longer to spend some time with you. Let's go after the tea party." 

"Okay."  Riley beamed

"There's a break in the tour schedule tonight so I can slip out for the night. See you later?" Liam looked at her pleadingly. 

"Yes, Liam ... later." 

Riley felt the heat rise in her cheeks and butterflies in her stomach as Liam kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger on her cheek.   

 Squeezing her hand, Liam turned away to greet the nobles.  

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Placing the linen table napkin on her lap, Riley’s attention was pulled to the sound of Madeleine's voice as she stepped in front of a microphone on the dais. As she begins her formal address to the court, Olivia slid into the chair next to Riley. 

“I never liked her.” 

“You don't like anyone, Liv.” 

“True, but I especially dislike her.” 

“Oh, dear, let's get something to drink.” Hana responds trying to change the subject of conversation. 

“Of course, let's engage in frivolous social conversation and engage in witty banter.” Olivia snidely responds. Her mood quickly turning despondent as she watched the King address the room. 

Riley noticed her abrupt change in mood as her expression shifted to sadness as she watched Liam across the room. 

“Olivia, are you okay?” Riley asked in a whisper as Olivia shakes her head, “No ... he's engaged to Madeleine and in love with you ... I can't help how I feel about him, can I?” 

"Olivia, I think --"

Abruptly standing up from the table, “at least I still have my pride. Just let me leave with it.” 

Olivia walked out without looking back. Hana watched her leave with a concerned look on her face. “I wonder what that was about.” 

Riley bit her lip as she turned her gaze to regard Hana.

“I hope she's able to sort things out. She's been through so much."

"Speaking of which ... how are you doing, Riley?” 

“I'm holding up okay,”  Riley sighed, seeing the opportunity to talk to Queen Regina.

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After a disappointing conversation with the queen mother, and later, saying goodbye to Hana ...

Riley looked up to see Liam waiting for her at the front entrance, appearing eager to spend some time together.

Riley couldn't help but smile as she approached him.

"Your Majesty," she dipped into a small curtsy, smiling coyly.

"Lady Riley," Liam greeted her, a smile lighting up his face.

As he escorted Riley to his SUV, Liam leaned close and softly spoke,

"we'll be having company." Liam chuckled at her confused look, as the sliding passenger door opened. 

Riley peeked inside and saw a fluffy ball of orange and white fur curled up on the back seat. "Chance!" 

Chance's ears perked up at the sound of her voice. He jumped out of the car, barking happily. He jumped around her, wagging his tail so fast that his entire butt shook. 

Riley laughed, dropping to her knees. Chance jumped into her lap, licking her face. 

Liam grinned. "Looks like he missed you."

"Aw, I missed you, too."

Arriving at a Parisian dog park, the crisp autumn air filled Riley's lungs as she breathed deeply. Puffy, white and gray clouds were overhead, and the trees were ablaze with red, orange and yellow around you.

Riley and Liam walked hand-in-hand, Chance trotting ahead of them. The leaves crunched under their feet, and the sounds of children playing nearby filled the air. 

"It's such a beautiful day," Riley remarked, looking around. 

"It is," Liam agreed. "Autumn is my favorite season. I love the changing colors of the leaves, and the way the air feels chilled." 

Riley looked over at Liam, admiring the way his blue eyes shone in the sunlight. "I love the way you see the world, Liam." 

"Likewise. You make me want to see everything in a new light." 

They continued walking, taking in the beauty of the park. Chance ran ahead, chasing birds and squirrels. 

As they rounded a bend, Riley spotted a man and his dog. She watched as the man tossed a ball, and the dog darted after it. The dog returned, the ball in his mouth, and the man pet him lovingly. 

"That's what I want," Riley said suddenly. "To have a relationship with Chance like that." 

"You will," Liam assured her. "Chance loves you, and you're already doing a great job with him. You're a natural." 

As they reached the center of the park, Riley looked up. The sky was now darker; the sun hidden by the clouds.

"I wish we could just stay here, in this moment," Riley breathed. "It's perfect." 

"It is." Liam gazed into her eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. 

Riley leaned closer, and Liam closed the distance between them. Their lips met, and Riley felt her heart flutter. Liam's lips were soft and warm, and Riley sighed contentedly. 

The moment was interrupted by the sudden downpour of rain. Riley squealed and grabbed Liam's arm. 

"Let's get under the gazebo," Liam chuckled, bending down to pick up Chance.

They ran to the shelter of the gazebo, laughing and wiping the rain from their faces. 

"Well, that was unexpected," Riley giggled. 

"I'll say," Liam laughed. 

Riley wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. This time, the kiss was deeper, more passionate. 

They stayed under the gazebo, kissing, as the rain fell around them. It was a perfect moment, and Riley never wanted it to end. 

"Lady Riley," Liam breathed. 

"Hmm?" 

"You're getting wet." 

"I am." 

"And you don't even seem to care." 

"I don't." 

Liam laughed, shaking his head. "What am I going to do with you?" 

"I can think of a few things," Riley grinned, kissing him again. 

Liam returned the kiss fervently, wrapping his arms around her tightly. They stayed under the gazebo, the rain pouring down around them, lost in each other. 

They pulled apart reluctantly as Chance barked and ran onto the grass and runs quickly back over to them, with a ball in his mouth. 

"It seems he's ready for a game of fetch," Liam chuckled. 

"I'm ready, too," Riley said, winking at Liam. 

"Let's play." 

Riley tossed the ball for Chance, and they both laughed as they joined the chase, returning to the downpour outside of the gazebo.

Riley giggled as she spun around, her arms extended. Liam grabbed her hands and pulled her close, the rain dripping from their hair.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Liam stroked her cheek and gently moved her hair behind her ear.

Riley's breath caught in her throat.. She didn't know what to say.

"Liam," she whispered.

Liam leaned down, his lips brushing hers. Riley's heart raced, and she kissed him back, the rain falling around them. Liam's hands were warm on her back, and she pressed herself closer to him, deepening the kiss.

It was the most perfect moment Riley could have imagined. She didn't want it to end.

The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the park. The rain had stopped, and the air smelled fresh and clean. Riley and Liam were walking hand-in-hand, Chance trotting along beside them. 

"Today was wonderful," Riley said. "Thank you, Liam." 

"I should be the one thanking you," Liam replied. "You've brought so much happiness into my life." 

"You deserve all the happiness in the world, Liam," Riley said, smiling up at him. 

Liam leaned in, his lips brushing against hers. Riley's heart fluttered, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. 

"I want to show you something," Liam murmured, breaking the kiss. 

"What is it?" 

"Come on." Liam took her hand and led her down a path, Chance following close behind. 

"Where are we going?" Riley asked, her curiosity piqued. 

"It's a surprise." Liam grinned, and Riley's heart skipped a beat. 

They walked through the park, the sunset painting the sky in shades of pink and gold. Riley could see the Eiffel Tower in the distance, and the streets of Paris were bustling with activity. 

"Close your eyes," Liam said. 

"Okay." Riley did as he asked, trusting him completely. 

"Now, take my hand and step forward." 

Liam's hand was warm and strong, and he guided her carefully. After a few steps, he stopped. 

"Can I open my eyes?" 

"Not yet," Liam chuckled.

Riley waited patiently, the anticipation building. 

"Okay," Liam said. "Open your eyes." 

Riley opened her eyes, and gasped. They were standing at the edge of the lake, and the water reflected the sky perfectly. The colors were vibrant, and the Eiffel Tower was lit up, casting a golden glow over everything. 

Riley's hand was warm in his. Liam glanced at her and smiled. They were walking through the park, the stars twinkling above. Chance was trotting alongside them, his tongue hanging out. 

"It's such a beautiful night," Riley remarked, looking up at the sky. 

"It is," Liam agreed. "Though I am a bit hungry." 

"I'm starving," Riley laughed. "All that exercise has me worked up an appetite." 

"Let's head back to the train, then." Liam started leading them towards the edge of the park. 

"Oh, no, you don't," Riley teased, tugging him back. "I have a better idea." 

"What's that?" 

"Let's grab some food first and then bring it back to the train." 

"Sounds like a plan," Liam grinned. 

"There's a little café not far from here. We could get something to go." 

"Perfect." 

"C'mon, Chance," Riley called. "You're eating too!"

🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂

@choicesprompts @flufftober @lovealexhunt @choicesficwriterscreations @angelasscribbles @kyra75 @choicesmonthlychallenge @choicescommunityevents

[enlitment]

Camille Desmoulins and Maximilien Robespierre – doomed by the Revolution?

a second part of the answer to the ask kindly sent by @iron--and--blood - first part can be found here

Okay, so I tried to follow the sources and I ended up missing what is arguably the key question. I think that there is enough evidence that warrants seeing Camille and Maximilien’s relationship as a ‘friendship torn apart but the revolution’, but could it in fact be something more that the chain of events of the mid-1790s ended up destroying?

(aka the good old “were they gay?” question)

It’s probably not surprising to anyone that there is no conclusive evidence that would suggest that either of them was definitely queer or that they were involved in some kind of a relationship. For context, the French Constitutional Assembly did decriminalise homosexuality, since there was simply no mention of private same-sex relationships it in the penal code of 1791.

Of course, there would still be a stigma surrounding queerness, seeing how France was a Catholic country – well, up to that point. On the other hand, it is also important to remember that anyone who received a higher education at that time would be well versed in classical authors (Greek and Roman that is), so they would have a framework for a positively viewed queer attraction/relationship (I'm mostly thinking of a kind of Alcibiades/Socrates vibes here. I think it sort of fits? Well it does in my headcanon anyway...). Camille especially seemed to be really into classics, making references to classical authors, history or mythology in approximately every other sentence.

CAMILLE – VICES HONTEUX AND A POSSIBILE BICON

If we consider Camille, I think it is clear that he was attracted to women. I think that the historical sources show that he genuinely did love his wife - Lucile - although it may also be true he was bit of a cad. There is a whole deal with him and Lucile’s mother with whom he apparently exchanged some flirty letters? I honestly need to look into it more at some point.

That said, attraction to women of course doesn’t exclude attraction to men. The one thing that would suggest Camille might have pursued a same-sex relationships is the reference to “vices honteux“ (shameful vices), which Saint-Just claims were attributed to Camille by Danton. We also learn from Robespierre’s note that this refered to something that was ‘totally unrelated to the revolution’.

So we know it’s something that would be seen as ‘shameful’ behaviour, but nonetheless a private matter. Could it be interest in same-sex relationships? It’s of course hard to say, but the theory is not completely implausible. For a discussion about this, I recommend this article.

MAXIMILIEN – A CONFIRMED BACHELOR?

With Maximilien Robespierre, it gets a little more complicated. He was essentially a confirmed bachelor, living with a family that adored him but that was not his own (and also a dog. He had a dog.) Talk about a found family trope!

Some sources claim that he was engaged to Éléonore Duplay, but Robespierre’s sister for one vehemently denies this. It’s true that he could probably easily have married her – I can’t imagine her family being opposed to it, far from it probably – but the fact is that for one reason or another, he did not.

He also didn’t really seem to capitalise on his massive popularity among the Parisian women. (Though, to be fair, neither did Rousseau and he was… well I guess he was his own version of heterosexual.)

Sure, one can interpret that as Robespierre being a workaholic or putting the revolution above everything else, but I personally think it is very possible that he would be considered to be on the asexual spectrum by today’s standards.

That said, although France was moving away from institutionalised religion at that point, Catholic guilt could certainly play a role, especially in someone who prided himself in his moral conduct and was told to be rigid about the rules. So the possibility of him being closeted as an explanation for his lack of interest in women would also not be completely off the table.

As to Camille and Maximilien being together in some way? I think there is certainly a precedence for this type of relationship in adolescence. Seeing that they have studied together (and shared enthusiasm for classics probably), it is not impossible, though of course, it is highly speculative.

I think it is also fair to say that Robespierre went above and beyond for Camille until the last few months. That is something he probably would have not done for many other people. He actually said as much himself:

“Learn, Camille, that if you were not Camille, one could not have so much indulgence for you.“

Was it because Camille was universally liked by the revolutionaries for all the good he has done? Possibly, but I think one can also read more into it. It certainly suggests that Camille was special in some way, and the fact that Robespierre uses ‚one‘ instead of ‚I‘ does not necessarily mean he is not speaking about himself here.

CAMILLE AND MAXIMILIEN IN THE MEDIA

When it comes to media portrayal, the relationship often comes across as queer-coded - to an extent.

In La Révolution française, this aspect is more prominent between Robespierre and Saint-Just, but with some well-timed smiles and glances, it almost reads as a tragic love triangle between the three. There are some unfortunate implications however, mainly that the hints of Robespierre's queerness in the movie are implicitly associated with his descent to tyrany. Ugh. (And let's face it, a kind of effeminacy linked to villainy as well. Honestly, who thought that kind of portrayal would be a good idea? Kudos for making a historical movie about the French Revolution come across as homophobic I guess.)

Hilary Mantel straight-up makes Camille Desmoulins bisexual (ish?) in A Place of Greater Safety, though there are <a lot of> issues with that portrayal, as discussed here (watch me linking another mutual's great post! Frevblr is truly the best). Not sure how the relationship with Robespierre is presented here since it’s one of the books I’ve been in the middle of for months.

And then there’s Stanisława Przybyszewska of course. She would honestly warrant a separate post, but long story short: in her works, there is no doubt about the fact that she portrays the relationship between them as queer. She invokes the Erastes/eromenos dynamic between them (quite explicitly, referring to Camille as an ephebe at one point) and makes the attraction between the two seem palpable. There is plenty of queer (under)tones to be found in The Danton Case, but in Last Nights of Ventôse , she straight up interprets the fall of the Dantonists as Camille running into Danton’s arms to spite Robespierre for snubbing him and rejecting his devotion (romantic advances?). And it gets quite physical – not in a way that would warrant an E rating, but it would certainly deserve one for the sheer emotional intensity.